A monologue from Law & Order: Fairy Tale Unit by Jonathan Rand

A monologue from Law & Order: Fairy Tale Unit by Jonathan Rand

A monologue from Law & Order: Fairy Tale Unit by Jonathan Rand (For the entire play, visit playscripts.com) H.D., 40s/50s, a disgruntled police offic...

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A monologue from Law & Order: Fairy Tale Unit by Jonathan Rand (For the entire play, visit playscripts.com)

H.D., 40s/50s, a disgruntled police officer explains to the court how he sustained injuries from sitting on a wall and having a great fall. H.D. All right… You wanna know? Fine. I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you right now. But don’t blame me if you’re plagued with nightmares for the rest of your life… It was Thursday afternoon. I was on my lunch break. There I was, sitting, minding my own business. But I wasn’t sitting just anywhere. No… No I wasn’t… I was sitting on a wall. That’s right, a wall. It seemed stable enough, sure. Why wouldn’t a wall be stable? (Pause.) But then out of the blue… without warning… it gave way. Before I could get my bearings, I lost my balance, and… (Pause.) …and I fell. And it wasn’t just your average fall. No it wasn’t. It’s not easy to describe the kind of the fall it was, but… if I had to choose a word… I’d say it was…great. A great fall. (Quietly:) It was great… I regained consciousness in a gurney over at King’s County. They did everything they could to fix my bone fractures, my torn joints, … my broken soul. All the finest doctors lent a hand—human doctors, of course, but also horse doctors… After surgery… the chief resident put his hoof in my hand and told me everything was gonna be all right. But he was all wrong… No matter how hard they tried, they failed… they failed at putting me back together again. You wanna know about my physical stability? Oh I’ll be all right. Sure. I’ll survive. But after a fall of such…great…magnitude… I may not ever recover…up here. (Points to his head.) And in here. (Points to his heart.) And along here. (He indicates the side of his pinky.) For those of you out there—you young people, especially—listen to me and listen close… ’Cause I’ll only say it once: The next time you see a wall…respect that wall… And don’t sit on it. Sit on a chair… Or maybe a futon. (Pause.) Happy now? I quit. (He drops his badge on the floor and exits the courtroom.)