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HUTTENBACK BAC KI Only 292 More Days To California Tech Millard Fillmore's Birthdayl Associated Student.s of the California Institute of Technology...

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HUTTENBACK BAC KI Only 292 More Days To

California Tech

Millard Fillmore's Birthdayl

Associated Student.s of the California Institute of Technology


Pasadena, California, Thursday, April 11, 1963


Munchkins" Will (ut Record At AS( IT Concert

BOD Plans


Decide Lost Weekend Trips to Catalina and money for the drama club were the topics of discussion at last Monday evening's BOD meeting. The planned trip to Catalina was presented by Cassada: It will take up Saturday of Lost Weekend and under grads will be charged six dollars a person, with dates free. Including all costs borne by ASCIT, the Board voted to approve an expenditure of $1,200 for Lost Weekend. Those who wish to make the trip shoUld pay their House social chairman the $6 before April 29. The drama club asked for a loan of $300 to put on this term's ASCIT play. This was approved, and it was generally felt that there was a good chance that the loan would be repaid. The satirical review "The Munchkins" has been contracted for and will appear on Campus, in Culbertson, at 8:30 p.;m., Saturday, April 27. Admission will be $1.50 for students, $2.00 for others. In other business, applications were closed for all appointive offices except game room chairman, which is open until April 15. Interviews will probably be held this week. Several by-laws proposals will be considered for the first time next week. Brill reported that the total charities drive intake was over $1,250.00.

-photo by Vic Tanny

Newly appointed Tech Business Manager Richard Karp considers new sources of revenue to cover newspaper's $1800 debt. Karp has already suggested keeping a second set of books.

Castings Finished For ASCIT Play Casting for this year's ASCIT play, "Man and Superman" by George Bernard Shaw was completed last week. Starring will be Barry Moritz as Jack Tanner, the revolutionist Don Juan, and Bradna Watson as Ann Whitefield, the girl who becomes Jack's

Many Killed In Battle Duri n9 AFROTC EX1ercise Caltech's AFROTC squadron spent most of last Saturday scrambling up and down the mountains in this year's field exercise. In the afternoon each flight was given a "flag," which represented its command post, to





President Lee A. DuBridge announced that Caltech had received from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration a grant of $268,900 to support ·15 full-time graduate students in space sciences. Each graduate student chosen will receive a stipend of $2,400 for 12 months of training plus an additional allowance for dependents up to $1,000 per year. The grant will assure the recipient of three years of graduate study as long as he maintains a satisfactory record. The purpose of NASA's grant is to help achieve the long-range objectives of the national space program and meet the nation's future needs for trained scientists and engineers in space technology.

Number 23

set up and detend (from some other flight assigned to capture it), and also to capture some other flight's flag. Therefore each flight split its force into two groups; the first left the command post and attempted to capture their assigned objective and the second stayed behind to set up defenses for the flag and to protect it from attacks by another flight. Combat rules required each man to wear an arm band, and 'he was declared dead whenever someone took this band from his arm, squirted him in the head with a water pistol (three were given each flight), or led him across a predesignated "mine field." After dying, a person had to wait five minutes before he was reincarnated to return to battle as a reinforcement. Flight A won the competition by both succe::;sfully defending its own flag from flight C and capturing flight B's flag. Flight C came in second, despite losing its flag and failing to capture flight A's, by "killing" an amazing number of men during the carnage in which they failed to capture flight A's flag. Flight B, by the :process of elimination, finished third.

problem. Avid followers of ASCIT dramatics will remember Barry as bartender in "Time of Your Life" and Bradna from: "Camino Real" and "Dark of the Moon." As for the past several years Mike Talcott is directing. He has announced the following cast: Mike Costello as Straker, Shaw's image of the working class; Jon Evans as Octavius, Ann's worshipper; Bob Poe as Ramsden, Ann's uncle and guardian; Nancy Parsons (Pasadena Playhouse) as Violet, Octavius' sister; Barbara Harrend (PCC) as Ann's mother; Wayne Huber as Hector Malone, Shaw's image of America; Joe Heller as Mendoza, the leader of a band of brigands in the mountains of Spain; John Russ as Hector's father; Ann Russ as Ann's Aunt; and Leon Thompson, Robert Roberts, Walter Scott, Jerry Shapiro, and Barry Peterson as members of the band of brigands. Shaw originally wrote the play as a parody on Mozart's opera, Don Giovani; but all that is retained are the main characters of the opera. The setting has been moved to modern (1903) England upper class (with the exception of a scene in hell).The result is a twist on the old Don Juan story and an analysis of hypocracy and human goals, and a lot of Shawian politics. The play was not generally well received when it was first written because it was different from the drama of its time in style and philosophy - and it still is. Since then, however, Shaw's ability has been acknowledged by most drama critics and "Man and Superman" has become recognized as an important landmark in literature. The play (Continued on Page 2)

At 8:30 p.m. on Saturday, April 27th, the fledgling ASCIT Board will take its first bold step into the wondrous world of theatrical productions. The specific event will be a live recording session in Culberrtson featuring the satirical review,"The Munchkins." The cast for the Munchkins is the same as those of three previous successful reviews, "Second City," "Third City," and "Wild, Wicked World," and this review contains some of the material which has proved so popular in the three earlier ones. In addition, the format of "The Munchkins" provides opportuni· ty for audience-suggested ideas to be incorporated into various sketches within the framework of the program. Electra Records, the firm Which handles the recordings for this group, and which produced the "Jazz at Caltech" album recorded at Culbertson a few years ago, will be recording this performance of "The Munchkins" for presentation as a college-atmosphere in-concert session. AS CIT hopes, in order to provide a suitable environment for this

NSF Grants Announced Stephen Prata has been awarded a Fulbright Scholarship to

study astronomy at Leiden University in Holland. Several Caltech seniors have been awarded National Science Foundation Fellowships. The NSF winners include Mike Pearlman, Allen Pfeffer, Henry Abarbanel, Roger Hill, Barry McCoy, Ray Plaut, Stephen Prata, Bruce 'RothChild, Charles Ryavec, Warren White, Steve Yellin, and Al Wright. Edward Bender was awarded a cooperative NSF fellowship.

Study Group Begun For Reisman Visit ·David Riesman, Professor of the Social Sciences at Harvard University, will visit Caltech May 6 to 8 as part of the YMCA Leaders of America program., A study group has been organized' for about 15 students who will read some of Riesman's books beforehand and then meet with him during his stay on campus. Students who are interested in joining this group should sign up at the YMCA office in Winnett Center. Books which are recommended as preparation include "The Lonely Crowd" and "Selected Essays from Individualism Reconsidered," both available in paperback editions in the bookstore. .

event, to fill Culbertson to its capacity figure of 569. Tickets for this special production will go on campus-wide sale today, and will be available from representatives in the undergraduate student houses, and also at the Caltech News Bureau from Mrs. Gumpel. The tickets will be priced at $1.50 for students, and $2.00 for others. Offcampus general sale will start next week if dearth of on-campus sales warrant it, so the BOD advises those interested to make dates early and to buy tickets now.

Notices PHYSICS CLUB Dr. Andy Jensen of EOS speaks at the Physics Club meeting 8 :00 p.m. tonight at Dr. Lauritsen's home, 1559 E. Rose Villa. The topic is thermionic energy conversions. Refreshments will be served and elections held. SENIORS Tomorrow is the last day for seniors to order graduation announcements. They can be ordered at the bookstore. Class rings are also available at the bookstore. CALTECH-SCRIPPS CONFERENCE Signups for the Cal tech-Scripps Conference will begin 12 :30 Friday at the YMCA office. You must have a $5 deposit when you sign. There is room for only 45. IEEE Dr. Langmuir will address the Caltech student IEEE on Particle Containment on Wednesday, April 17 at 11 :00 a.m. The meeting will be held in 142 Keck. PROM SET The 1963 Caltech Prom has been set for Friday evening, May 17. Unlike recent Proms, this one will be held on Lost Weekend and will be open to all underclassmen. The Prom will be held at the ballroom of the Huntington-Sheraton and will be preceded by a banquet on the Olive Court. The 10-piece band of Wayne Songer has been signed for the Prom. For more information, see Ray Plaut or Don TerWilliger, as well as future issues of the Tech. COFFEE HOUR TODAY There will be a Coffee Hour today at 3 :00 in Winnett Lounge. STUDENT SHOP MEMBERS There will be a general meeting of the student shop at 7 :30 p.m. Thursday, April 11 in 206 Thomas and/or Winnett Student Center. All members should attend for election of new committee and officers. LEARN TO FENCE Fi rst instructional meeting of the Caltech fencing club will be held at 4:00 p.m. Tuesday, April 16, in Dabney lounge. All Caltech undergrads and grads welcome. For additional information, see Sam Masri, 301 Keck, or Dan McCammon, 1 17 Lloyd.

Page Two



Talk It Upl The new proposals for P.E. programs at Tech caused quite a rise of stdent opinion when they first originated. Now that the proposals have passed on to consideration by faculty committees, however, this vociferous student opinion has again become dormant. The fact that the P.E. proposal has passed out of the "per forum" stage does not mean either that it is settled or that it is nO longer important. The P.E. proposal is presently being considered by several faculty committees, the result of which will be submitted to the Faculty Board. The Board will then if it wishes submit the proposals to the general faculty for a vote. It is therefore just as important as ever that a beneficial proposal comes before the faculty. If Techmen give in to their traditional apathy, and let the matter drop, the faculty may think that no one cares or prepers any particular program. The solution to this is for every concerned Techman (all of you!) to go and talk to some faculty members and express to them the importance of saving Interhouse sports and the unfairness and impracticality of the proposed grading system. If enough sudents convey their opinions to the faculty, there is a very good chance that a good, two-year program will be passed. If this is not done the opposite may happen. Remember-this P.E program is going to vitally affect everyone at Tech, and a good P.E. program is a necessity. Discuss it with a faculty member soon. -J. C. Simpson Don Green

'rfJlTJ Other CfJlTJpuses By Jace Antioch College has recently made great strides in advancing the co-operative system in education. Several students assigned to work for Cleveland newspaperers were faced with a serious dilemma when the papers went out on strike and it appeared they would be deprived of enough co-op credits to delay their graduation. In an amazing stroke of genius, the administration saved the day by ruling the students could earn co-op credits by participating in the picket lines. Technical Beauty

Meanwhile, the monthly magazine of the Rose Polytechnic Instftute in Terre Haute, Indiana, made a breakthrough of another sort. The magazine contained a two page spread featuring a shapely "Miss Technic for March." The breakthrough was in Miss Technic's measurements, which were listed as: "height 1.805 yards, mass 3.325 slugs; possessing critical perimeters of 0.0429 Gunter's chains, 0.0253 links, and 8.13 x 10-to-the-ninth angstroms arranged in the usual fashion." Fallout Shelte'red

Students at LSU in New Orleans were busy researching

ASCIT Play (Coutinued from page 1)

is funny, but it is deep enough to be challenging to the cast and the audience. The entire play is being produced including "Don Juan in Hell" in the third act., Some of the longer speeches have been cut to bring the production down to a reasonable length. The dates for the play are Wednesday through Saturday nights, May 1, 2, 3, and 4. Tickets will be available in about two weeks from members of the cast and at the book store.

their city's fallout shelter facilities. As the Driftwood reports: "The group concluded that should an attack come on a Sunday or any time except Monday through Friday, 8 to 5, New Orleans ciLizens would be unable to get into the shelters. "Spokesman for the group, Hammett Murphy, LSUNO Senior in History, said, "in every shelter the door was locked and the man with the key was away for the weekend. On many occassions the entire building was locked and our summons went unanswered. In some buildings the guards knew absolutely nothing about the shelter and had no keys." Either New Orleans has great faith in the American way, or they're very big on the "Pray for Peace" program. Liberals In Action

Up in the Ivy League the administration at Columbia has just granted some unprecedented new privileges to its students. Columbia undergrads will be allowed to entertain visitors in their dorms, starting this Spring, for three hours on alternate Sunday afternoons. But the visitors must sign in and out and the doors to the rooms must be left open. Columbia's president emphasized that this radical new plan "involves the assumption of mature responsibility." As a closing note, the Technology News at Illinois Institute of Technology, Chicago, quotes its printer (whom I am sure speaks also for ours) as saying: "After spending all day Thursday putting this paper together, all I want to do is go out and get smashed."






WINTER LIGHT at the Lido Theater

Nowadays everybody likes to make movies about Jesus: Cecil B. DeMille in his own modest way, Ingmar Bergman in his. If you ask me, this latest theopathy of Bergman's is more 'pretentious than anything Hollywood has come up with; after all, no one takes "I was a Teen-age Jesus" very seriously. Bergman, on the other l).and, always seems to be in deadly earnest, as he discourses on the most difficult problems in the world, and one can't help doubting his qualification~ for the job. His strength, I thmk, is as an artist, not as a philosopher, and hence he does better at asking questions than at answering them. When he plays the mystic he does well because then the viewer can sup: ply whatever answers he feels are meaningful. But in Winter Night Bergman is giving out his own ideas ("his most personal motion picture,"as an L.A. Times writer put it); and in such a case Emperor Ingmar begins to look kind of naked. Actually this film isn't really about Jesus, but rather about a Swedish pastor with a similar problem: his god has forsaken him. His life is a ruin; his wife is dead, his church is empty, and now a parishioner, after fruitJE:ssly turning to him for help, has gone out and killed himself. God is dead, or never existed or doesn't care. The one thing left to him is the love of a homely schoolteacher, which he callously repels. That is all there is to the film; more like a still photograph, r~ally, or better, like a sketch by a skillful impressionist which captures a mood but has no dimension of time., One thing that will strike you is how heavily Bergman has borrowed from his own earlier pieces. The Jesus motif mayor may not have appeared in The ~Iagician some of Bergman's fans seemed to be able to identify, in that film, not only Jesus, but Mary Magdalene, Judas, and for all I know Alfred Hitchcock peering out of the crowd. (I could never see any of them, myself.) But what is certainly borrowed is the theme that a man is lost unless he cares for other people. That was the entire substance of 'Vild Strawberries, and Winter Light is essentially a reiteration of this theme.

Thursday, April 11, 1963

By Steve Schwarz Now I do not mean to imply that one cannot make a great work of art out of an old, familiar idea. On the contrary, the greatest dramas are always based on old ideas, since these are the ones the audience can feel most deeply.But in such cases it is usually a matter of weaving a drama about the idea in a new or extraordinarily skillful way, so that one is able to see a new aspect of it, or feel its significance more intensely. For instance Wild Strawberries, although based on precisely the same un-novel thought, was a success because the plot - the same plot as in Dicken's Christmas Carol - is a damn good one. Winter Light doesn't have that

advantage; Bergman has simply presented us with a pat situation and his pat answer. It's as though he were shouting "Stop the presses! Hold page one! I've just got word that God is Love!" By now I've given the impression that I didn't like Winter Light at all, and that's not quite entirely true. No matter what Bergman's own faults may be, his 'cameraman is certainly a genius of the first water. His actors are also very fine, but I do wish' they would smile once in a while; after a few Bergman movies one gets the impression that Sweden is a nation of undertakers. On the other hand, it works out to be a pretty expensive show, more than a dollar per hour. You can see King of Kings at your friendly neighborhood drive-in for one-fourth as much, and you can laugh at it if you want to.


Published weekly during the school year by the Associated Studen1s of the California Institute of Technology, Incorporated.

Editors-in-Chief J. C. Simpson, Don Green Managing Editor Gerry Steiner

News Staff Buzz Bernstein, Clem Chase, Walt Deal, Stuart Galley, Richard Karp Ken Kimball, Wally Oliver Ken Brown, photographer

Feature Staff Rodger Whitlock, Editor Jim Hole, Jon King, Lee Molho, Steve Schwarz

Sports Staff Neil Wanamaker, Editor Ed Lee, Thor Hanson, Tom Latham, Bob Liebermann (Honorary), Dennis McCreary, Ray Plaut, Dave Seib, Cliff Tedder

Business Staff Dick Karp, Manager Circulation: Howard Monell California Tech, 1201 East California Blvd., Pasadena, California. Member of The Associated Collegiate Press Second Class postage' paid at Pasadena, California Printed by Bickley Printing Co. Repres.en!ed nationally by National Advertising Service, Inc. Subscrlpttons: $1.00 per term, $3.00 per year. Write: Circulation Manager.


Sidney Lens LABOR LEADER, AUTHOR, TRAVELER Speaks On "LATIN AMERICA, A WORD IN REVOLUTION" Friday, April 12 - 8 P.M. 2936 West 8th Street, Los Angeles Donation $1.00 Questions





welcome to the


Barber Shop in Winnett Center

Drugs Sundries Cosmetics Tobaccos


555 S. Lake Breakfast

SY 2-3156 Lunch


all haircuts $1. 7 5

Three Barbers to Serve You 8 to 5 :30 Monday - Friday Paul A. Harmon

Here's where a button-down should button down

Thursday, April 11, 1963


Page Three

Fleming Defeats Blacker In Key Interhouse Game

Netters Trounce Cal Lutheran

Tech Baseballers Split Doubleheader With Biola

Powerful Fleming took the lead in the 1963 Interhouse basketball race with three successive victories, including a win over arch-rival Blacker, which contribute to a total record of four wins without a loss. The defeat of Blacker moved Page, still undefeated, into undisputed second place with a 3·0 record, an advantage which is slightly lessened by the fact that Page has not yet played either Fleming or Blacker, acknowledged powers of the league. Fleming's three-game spree began last Wednesday with a 71-19 romp over luckless Lloyd, followed on Friday by a 39-25 defeat of Ricketts. This Tuesday, previoulsy undefeated Blacker became Fleming's fourth victim

Swim Team Tops Pomona Caltech's Varsity and Frosh tankmen had little trouble handling weak Pomona teams in a swim meet held last Friday in Alumni Pool. Despite the absence of several key men due to illness and a juggling of the Tech lineup. the Sagehen varsity team was swamped 65-23. The Freshmen had an even easier time, winning 60-9. In the Varsity meet, Tech won both relays by default. Dave Seib won the 200 yard freestyle, Tom Crocker the 200 yard butterfly, and Art Turner the 200 yard backstroke. Dave Lambert was a double winner, capturing the 200 yard individual medley and the 200 yard breaststroke. For the Freshmen, Rod Bergman took the 50 yard freestyle, John Walter the 200 yard Individual medley, Rich Nielsen the 200 yard butterfly, Steve Deichelmann the 100 yard freestyle, and Walt Davis the 500 yard freestyle. Bill Owens won both the 200 yard freestyle and the 200 yard backstroke; his winning time in the Backstroke event was an excellent 2:22.8. This Friday there is no scheduled meet due to vacation for other Conference schools, but the Freshmen team will battle the Varsity. Next Wednesday Tech will meet Whittier in the Caltech Pool.


ATLANrIC? William Saroyan: The famed author of Boys and Girls Together has written four playlets for The Atlantic. A real tour de force. Randall Jarrell: A leading literary critic offers a detailed analysis of Some Russian short novels byGogol,Turgenev and Tolstoy. Ralph McGill: A poigna nt study of the effects of sectionalism, the Ku Klux Klan, the depression and war years on the South.

ALSO "Labor's Welfare State": In the first of a series of labor union profiles, A. H. Raskin looks at New York's Local 3 of the Electrical Workers' union first union local to establish a 25-hour workweek The pursuit of excellence is the everyday job of The Atlantic's editors be it in fiction or fact, poetry or prose. In everincreasing numbers, those in pursu it of academic excellence find in The Atlantic a challenging, enter.' taining and enlighten ing com pan ion. Get your copy today.

in a hotly contested 42-34 game, despite a 19-point effort by Blacker's Steve Teigland. Fleming, led by the sharpshooting of scoring leader Roger Korus, must defeat Ruddock and second-place Page to cinch the title. Page, behind the consistent scoring of Dennis McCreary, added a 32·26 win over Dabney and a 34-23 defeat of Lloyd to one previous win to gain the second·place position. In other games, Blacker crushed Ricketts, 50-22, and Ruddock, 53-26, to anchor third place securely, with an excellent chance to regain second by the end of the season, while Ruddock defeated Dabney 36-27 to move into fourth place. Interhouse Basketball Standings: Won Fleming Page Blacker Ruddock Ricketts Dabney Lloyd

4 4 3 1 0 0 0

Lost 0

0 1 2

2 3 3

The Caltech varsity tennis team swept its way to a 5 - 2 victory over Cal Lutheran last Saturday. Two doubles matches were not completed due to Father Time and the approaching loss of steak dinners. Since the match was non-league and since several varsity members wanted to snake rather than take a beautiful drive to Ventura County, the Beavers used three frosh to fill in their lineUp. Victors for Caltech in singles were Freeman Rose, 6-1, 4-6, 6-2; Bob Kepner, 3-6, 6·3, 7·5; Jeff Pressing, 6-2, 4-6, 6-3; and Dario Iacuelli, 6-4, 3-6, 6-4. Rose and Don Green sewed up the match with a 6-1, 6·3 first doubles slaughter. The Caltech frosh tied Pasadena College, 4·4, in an uncompleted practice match last Friday on the opponents' courts. Winners were Jay Pearlman, 8-6, 6-2; Jeff Pressing, 6·4, 6-1; Jim Hall, 6-2, 6-2; and the doubles team of Hall-Pressing, 6-1, 6-4. Also in an exhibition match honorary Frosh Art Lipson wiped out Pasadena's number seven Frosh, 6-3, 6-0. Lipson performed the magnificent feat of only losing one point in the second set.


Last Saturday the Tech nine split a doubleheader with Biola College, a team which is certainly the equal of most teams in the SCIAC. Murray Sherman won the first game, 3-2, giving up only one hit in the first six innings; Biola got their runs in the seventh and final inning on two hits and the only Tech error of tne game. Sophomore Sherman he1ped himself at the plate with a single,a double, a run·batted·in, and a run scored. Bill Weber, with four hits, Joe Bocklage, and Dave Barker also wielded big sticks. The only weakness the team showed in this game, one of their best to date, was an inability to hit effectively with men on base. In the second game, which also went seven innings, the mound corps was weakened by the absence of Dave Hewitt and by Bill Ricks' sore arm. Barker, who was scheduled to start the game, pulled a leg muscle in the first game, so John Diebel took over;

second baseman Gary Dahlman finished the game. This Saturday the team travels to Chapman for another doubleheader; next Wednesday they resume league play with Pomona at 3;00 at TP, a game they plan to win, even though the Sagehens beat powerhouse Occidental last week.

Golf Team Falls In Whittier Tilt The Whittier Poets gained ample revenge for a previous defeat at the hands of Caltech by smashing the Beaver golfers, 43-12, 'last Thursday afternoon. Fifth man Dave Hyde accounted for half of his steams points by blanking his opponent, 6-0, The rest of the Caltech golfers did not find Hacienda Country Club so favorable and had to scramble hard for their few remaining points. The loss brought Caltech's league record to 1-3, which gives them a fifth·place tie with Whittier.

THE BELL TELEPHONE COMPANIES SALUTE: JIM ELIAS Jim Elias (B.S.I.E., 1957) is Assistant Traffic Superintendent in Pacific Northwest Bell's Salem District. There he faces tough decisions daily-for instance, deciding manpower levels and keeping employee relations smooth. His decisions affect both cost and quality of service. Before this promotion, Jim proved his ability by planning outside plant additions for a new central office. Earlier

he held a key job in an office serving 28,000 customers and worked on the Labor Relations staff. Jim's knack for handling responsibility is bringing him success. Jim Elias and the other young engineers like him in Bell Telephone Companies throughout the country help bring the finest communications service in the world to the homes and businesses of a growing America.



Page Four

. . .. ~ .~

"Ah, what fool'S these m.ortals be."-Wm. Shakespeare

One frosh of Pus-Head House, Three-in-john, Monday displayed a colossal lack of knowledge about vital subjects. During an episode of Squiff Lab, another lowly frosh asked Johnny boy to go to the stock room to get a Fallopian tube., Frosh-numberone complied with this request in total innocence. Stockroom attendant was mystified by the request, being afflicted with same ignorance. Hence he went and asked the nearest T.A. Yet Another Muddled Frog Splashed About Madly In His Own Little Puddle It has come to the attention

of Beak that a froshthing in Cowlick House is totally out of it. This insufferable abortion of Tekness is incapable of differentiation of the quarters of the squalid southern parts, much less capable of differentiation e-to-the-x. Sent by the rulers of his house to challenge Beri-Beri gouse for soggy sundaes over he battle for Myron's masterpiece, this thing, one Bear's Sin,

ended up in :F'latulence House. Unrealizant of his error, the fat head proceeded to voice his challenge. Flatulent ones grossly laughed and informed Sinful one of mistake. Challenge was then repeated in Beri-Beri House (at last). Since the Interhouse Squawk, at which the Rowdies gave their barbaric cheer, Bearsin has protested it - and obviously, the Scurvy House has been pleading with the deities that the objector



should be delivered into their hands. But now, at last their prayer had been answered, they twitched and failed to make any impression on the pure Bearsin. More Jokes (?)

Two old maids went for a tramp in the woods. The tramp escaped. Shades of SAGA: Chapter I

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup," "Grab your fork quick. Maybe a trout will come to the surface."

Beavers Drop Meet to Pomona; Schoene/ Radke Win For Tech Unable to win a single track event, the varsity track team bowed to Pomona last Friday afternoon. The final score of Caltech's first home meet of the term was 93-47. Despite the loss, there were several outstanding individual performances. Bill Schoene threw the javelin 178 feet, winning the event. George Radke was the only other winner for the varsity. He entered and won two

events, the shot put and the discus. Most of the runners performed quite well even though they did not win. Pat Early finished the day with second places in the mile and two-mile runs. Tech managed to place two men in three running events - 100 yd. dash, the 440 yd. dash, and the twocmile run. The Freshman fared much better than their varsity teammates, but lost by the score 69-67.

Thursday, April 11, 1963

Ruddock Wins, Ties In Discobolus Matches

Ruddock House climbed into a tie with Fleming in the Discobolus trophy race by defeating Fleming in bowling and tying Ricketts in soccer_ On March 30, Ruddock ended Fleming's four-game winning streak by defeating them in bowling, 1653 to 1415. Francis Nakamoto led Ruddock with a 356 for two games, closely fol-

lowed by Dave Hammer's 351. Ruddock retained the trophy after tying Ricketts in a closely contested soccer game in which no scoring occurred until the closing minutes of the match. With about 3 minutes left, Tom Lubensky scored for Ruddock. Later, with less than a minute left, Yance Hirschi scored for Ricketts to tie the match, 1-1.

On eamp. Mu't-

(Author of "I Was a Teen-age DwarJ", "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis," etc.)

NOW YOU CAN BE YOUNGER THAN SHE IS It is a scientific fact that girls reach emotional maturity earlier than boys. For this reason freshman girls are reluctant to make romantic alliances with freshman boys, but instead choose men from the upper classes. Thus the freshman boys are left dateless, and many is the nig?t t~e e~tire f~eshman dorm sobs itself to sleep. An equally mOIst s~tuatlOn eXIsts among upper-class girls. With upper-class men bemg snapped up by freshman girls, the poor ladies of the upper class are reduced to dreary, man less evenings of Monopoly and home permanents. It pleasures me to report there is a solution for this morbid situation-indeed, a very simple solution. Why don't the two great have-not groups-the freshman boys and the upper-class girls-find solace with each other? True, there is something of an age differential, but that need not matter. Take, for example, the case of Albert Payson Sigafoos and Eustacia Vye. Albert Payson, a freshman in sand and gravel at Vanderbilt Univer~ity,. was w.alking ac~oss the campus one day, weeping; softly m hIS lonelmess. Blmded by tears, he stumbled upon

Guess who offered me an executive position with a leading organization, where I'll get good pay, further my education, and enjoy world travel?

My uncle. In this case, nepotism's a pretty good idea. you complete the three-month course, you'll And the best way to get it is through Air Force be commissioned a second lieutenant, and beROTC-because the Air Force prefers to com- come a part of a vital aspect of our defense mission its officers directly upon graduation. effort. As an Air Force officer, you'll be a But if you COUldn't fit AFROTC into your leader on the Aerospace Team. schedule, you can still apply for Air Force We welcome your application for OTS nowOfficer Training School. but the same may not be true next year. So if OTS offers college men and women an oppor- you're within 210 days of graduation, get full tunity to assume great responsibility. When information from the Professor of Air Science.

U. S. Air Force

the supine form of Eustacia Vye, a senior in wicker and raffia, who was collapsed in a wretched heap on the turf. "vVhy don't you watch where you're going, you minor youth?" saki Eustacia peevishly. "I'm sorry, lady," said Albert Payson and started to move on. But suddenly he stopped, struck by an inspiration. "L~ldy," he said, tugging his forclock, "don't think me forward, hut I know why you're miserable. It's because you can't grt a date. Well, nrither can I. So why don't we date each other?" "Surely you jest!" cried Eustacia, looking with scorn upon his tiny head and body. "Oh, I know I'm younger than you arr," said ""'lhert Payson, "but that doesn't lUean we can't find lots of fun things to do together." "Like what?" she asked. "\Vell," said Albrrt Payson, "we could huild a SnO\Ylnan." "Bah!" said Eustacia, grinding her tepth. "All right then ," said Alhert Payson, "we could go down to the pond and catch Bome frogR." "Ugh!" said Eustacia, shuddering her entire length. "How about some Run-Sheep-Run'?" suggested Albert Payson. "You are callow, green, and immature," said Eustacia, '''and I will thank you to remove your underaged presence from minp eyes." Sighing, Albert Payson lighted a cigarette and started away. "St;).y!" cried Eustacia. He stayed. "Was t:hat a Marlboro Cigarette you just lighted?" she asked. "What. else?" ~aid Albert Payson. "Then you are not immature!" she exclaimed, clasping him to her clavicle. "For to smoke Marlboros is the Vl'ry essence of wisdom, the height of AIl1P1'ican know-how, the incontrovertible proof that you call tdl gold from dross, right from wrong, fine aged tobaccos from pal!" pathetic substitutes. Albert Payson, if you will still have me, I am yours!" "I will," he said, and did, and today they are married and run the second biggest wicker and raffia establisillnent in Duluth, Minnesota. © 1963 Max Shulman




Freshman, sophomore,junior, .~enior-all classes, ages, types, and conditions-will enjoy mild, rich, filter-tip Marlboroavailable in pack or box in everyone of our fifty states,