Resource Kit - Western Health

Resource Kit - Western Health

Healthy Relationships         Resource Kit Healthy Relationships Resource Kit Table of Contents Introduction 3 Contacts 4 Checklist of Resou...

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Healthy Relationships  

 

   

Resource Kit

Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Table of Contents Introduction

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Contacts

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Checklist of Resource Kit Contents

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Section 1: Activities for Kindergarten to Grade 3

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   

7 8 16 17

Friendship Circle Charades of Kindness (Fantasticat) Friendship Chain Friendship Wreath

Section 2: Activities for Grade 4 to Grade 12

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      

Circle of Respect Ad for a Friend Giving Compliments & Healing Bracelets Dilemma Pressure Points Show Respect Friendship Spotlight Game

19 20 23 25 27 29 32

Section 3: Activities for Youth to Adult

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              

37 38 43 44 45 46 47 48 51 52 56 58 60 62 74

Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship Check list Characteristics of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship Unhealthy Relationships Word Search Friendship Circle Kindness: Pass it On Poster Ideas for Kindness Bookmarks Circle of Respect Ad for a Friend/Partner, Co-worker/Family Member True/False Healthy Relationships Question Set Healthy Relationships Question Set Role Play Scenario/Discussion Cards The Choice is Yours – Life’s Situations for Teens Family Circle Love Is...Love Isn’t Myth or Fact – Dating Violence

Other Available Resources

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References/Sources

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Introduction Healthy Relationships take time to get right! This resource focuses on developing positive relationships with friends, family members, neighbours & any other people you may encounter in your life. The kit contains interactive activities that encourage children & youth to discuss the key elements that help make a healthy relationship. What makes a Healthy Relationship? Respect - Respect each person as an individual. A healthy partnership means learning about the other person & valuing what’s important to them. Trust - Means that you feel that you can count on each other & that the other person will be there for you. Trust needs to be earned over time & can be lost with a broken promise. Be Honest about thoughts & feelings. It is the “real me” that our partner wants to get to know. Communication - Is how we show our respect, trust & honesty. It requires listening & sharing thoughts & feelings. Healthy Relationships

Unhealthy Relationships

You feel good about yourself when you’re around the other person. You do not try to control each other. There is equal amount of give & take. Communication, Sharing & Trust. You feel safe & trust to share secrets. This requires listening. You like to spend time together but also enjoy doing things apart. It’s easy to be yourself when you’re with them. You Respect each other’s opinion. You listen & try to understand their point of view even if you don’t agree. There is no fear in your relationship.

You feel sad, angry, scared or worried. You feel you give more attention than they give to you. You feel controlled. You do not communicate, share or trust. You feel pressured to spend time together & feel guilty when apart. You feel the need to be someone or something that you’re not. You feel there’s no respect for you or your opinion. You’re not able to disagree. You feel fear.

Sometimes respect, communication, trust & honesty are negatively affected when people use alcohol & drugs. Alcohol &/or drugs may cause arguing, physical, emotional or sexual abuse &/or unprotected sexual activity. Some of the activities included in this Resource Kit were adapted from the Healthy Relationships Resource Kit Eastern Health, Health Promotion Division (2010).

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Contacts Regional Mental Health Promotion Consultant Western Health 6th Floor WMRH, P.O. Box 2005 Corner Brook, NL A2H 6J7 T: 637-5000 Ext. 6692 F: 637-5624 Regional Sexual & Reproductive Health Consultant Western Health 6th Floor WMRH, P.O. Box 2005 Corner Brook, NL A2H 6J7 T: 637-5000 Ext. 5492 F: 637-5624 Regional Parent & Child Health Coordinator Western Health 347 O’Connell Drive, P.O. Box 2005 Corner Brook, NL A2H 6J7 T: 632-2919 F: 632-2636

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Checklist of Resource Kit Contents (Container with Binder)  29 Charades of Kindness (Fantasticat) Cards  Charades of Kindness Props          

Empty Juice Bottle Ball Box of Crayons Small Broom Tin of Food Plastic Flowers Rolling Pin Book Grocery Bag Plastic Apple

 8 Dilemma Cards  6 Pressure Point Cards  18 Show Respect Situation Cards  3 Colour Heading Posters  15 Friendship Scenario Cards  2 Heading Cards (Healthy Relationships/Unhealthy Relationships)  32 Characteristics of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship Cards  10 Kindness Pass it on Posters  10 Ideas for Kindness Bookmarks  9 True or False Question Cards  13 Healthy Relationships Question Set Cards  5 Role Play Scenario/Discussion Cards  9 The Choice is Yours! Life’s Situations for Teens Cards  8 Conflict Cards (Family Circle)  Love Is...Love Isn’t Cards  Myth or Fact - Dating Violence Cards

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

SECTION 1: Activities for Kindergarten to Grade 3

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Friendship Circle Have children sit in a circle. Ask each child to tell you something about kindness (e.g. what they think it is, an example of a kind act or a kind thought, something they do that is kind or something they might do in the future). The intent is to get the children to think about kindness and highlight that it is part of their everyday activities. Ask how kindness makes people feel. How do they feel when they are kind and when others are kind to them? It would be helpful to have a second person to flip chart responses as you can then leave the lists for posting in the classroom as a reminder. This activity may be supplemented by having children create a circle of kindness using a paper plate to paint or draw a picture about kindness. These creations could be displayed in the classroom or corridor of the school. Note: You may use the props in the kit to support this activity. See http://www.crayola.com/coloringcraft/craft/printer.cfm?id=608 for the activity that inspired this idea.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

“Fantasticat” Charades of Kindness Overview This game is recommended for grades K-3. It is based on the character Fantasticat. Fantasticat says, “I Am Fantasticat” and “I can do anything”. The aim of this activity is to get children thinking and talking about acts of kindness that they can do to show that they respect themselves, others, and their environment. It helps children think about how each of us is unique and have different things to offer. They will learn that respect, good manners and kindness are all inseparable. Detailed Instructions 

Find your charades cards and props in the kit provided. There are numerous charades cards that you can use. One side of the cards features various cat characters to reinforce the concept of diversity and uniqueness. The other side shows acts of kindness that the children can act out when playing the game .You may choose to review the cards and pick out those that will work best with your group or you could decide to use them all. You may choose not to use the props provided, it will depend on the group you are playing with. If you wish, they can be creative and use their own props or their imagination.



Use the charades cards provided in the kit to have the children act out the kindness activities on the cards. There may be complete sentences on the cards to explain the activity. The facilitator may have to help and point out the actual picture activity for the child.



The children will take turns picking a charades card from the pack of cards and acting out the action on the card chosen. The other children will need to guess what activity is being acted out. See appendix A for some suggestions as to how you might divide participants into small groups.



After each activity is acted out and guessed you should ask the children how it made them feel to do something kind and how it might have felt to have something kind done for them. You may choose to wait until the end of the game to do this. End the activity by pointing out that acts of kindness make everyone feel better.

Fantasticat Activity adapted from http://www.businessballs.com/fantasticat.htm.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Props/Cards for Fantasticat Charades of Kindness and Circle of Kindness Activities Charades Cards 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29.

Give your teacher an apple Play a game with a classmate Share your crayons Make a birthday card for a classmate Hold the door Carry a friends school bag Tie someone’s shoes Share your umbrella Give someone a hug Surprise a family member with breakfast in bed Fly a kite with someone Carry someone’s groceries Rake your neighbors yard Shovel someone’s driveway Help a friend build a snowman Help mom bake cookies Call a friend Take turns Recycle Clean up your school yard Give your bus driver a thank you card Give old clothes away Donate food during food drives Pick flowers for someone Help clean up Read a book to a younger student Share old books Make a bookmark for a friend Water plants

Props 1. Empty juice bottle 2. Ball 3. Box of crayons 4. Small broom 5. Tin of food 6. Plastic flowers 7. Rolling pin 8. Book 9. Grocery bag 10. Plastic apple

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

Fantasticat

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Give your teacher an apple.

Play a game with a classmate.

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Share your crayons.

Make a birthday card for a classmate.

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Hold the door.

Carry a friend’s school bag.

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Tie someone’s shoes.

Share your umbrella.

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Give someone a hug.

Surprise a family member with breakfast in bed.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Fly a kite with someone.

Carry someone’s groceries.

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Rake your neighbour’s yard.

Shovel someone’s driveway.

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Help a friend build a snowman.

Help mom bake cookies.

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Call a friend.

Take turns.

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Recycle.

Clean up your school yard.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Give your bus driver a thank you card.

Give old clothes away.

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Donate food during food drives.

Pick flowers for someone.

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Help clean up.

Read a book to a younger student.

Charades of Kindness

Charades of Kindness

Share old books.

Make a bookmark for a friend.

Charades of Kindness Water plants.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Friendship Chain Give children strips of construction paper. Have everyone decorate and write the name of a friend on the strips. Let children take turns adding their strips to the chain. Display the chain in the classroom. Keep a supply of construction paper on hand and invite the children to continue adding strips to the class friendship chain.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Friendship Wreath Make one big friendship wreath for the bulletin board or break up into groups of 5 or 6 to make smaller take home wreaths Materials: construction paper scissors pencils markers pencil crayons glue Directions:  You might want to take 5 minutes of circle time before starting the craft to talk about friendship. Let the kids finish the sentence "I like friends who..." to give them inspiration for their handprints.  At the end of the craft you can have circle time again to talk about what the children decided they liked in a friend. Talk about the importance of having those qualities -- ex: if you like friends who smile a lot then you should try to smile a lot too. Group Wreath:  Have the children pair up and trace each other's hand on a piece of construction paper (let them pick their favorite color) with a pencil.  Cut out the handprints (may require adult assistance).  Have the children print their name on each of their handprints and draw a picture or print a sentence about friendship on each of their handprints.  Have the children take their finished handprint to the leader.  Glue the handprints together in a circle (to make a wreath) -- the leader can do this or you can let the children attach theirs to the wreath. Take Home Wreaths:  Have the children trace each other's hand on a piece of construction paper (let them pick their favorite color) with a pencil.  Repeat this so that each child makes a handprint for everyone in their group including themselves (so in a group of 5, each child would make 5 handprints).  Cut out the handprints (may require adult assistance).  Have the children print their name on each of their handprints and draw a picture or print a sentence about friendship on each of their handprints.  Have the children hand out one of their handprints to each person in their group.  Everyone in the group should now have a set of their friend's handprints.  Glue the handprints together in a circle (to make a wreath). Adapted from DLTK's Crafts for Kids www.dltk-cards.com. 17

Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

SECTION 2: Activities for Grade 4 to Grade 12

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

A Circle of Respect With students sitting in a circle, introduce the concept of respect as part of healthy relationships. You might also mention the importance of respecting the environment in which we live. Recycling is an example of environmental respect…. Have each student contribute an idea about respect (e.g. what it means to them, an example of a respectful behaviour, talk about how it feels to be respected, how they show respect to friends and family, how teachers show respect to students etc). If students cannot think of ideas you may need to provide some prompts by asking questions about their behaviour and experiences. As with the Circle of Kindness the responses can be flip charted (students can help with this) and left with the class or group as a reminder of the activity. Students could also be encouraged to create a poster or drawing to show their interpretation of respect.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Ad for a Friend Overview This is a small group activity where groups are instructed to use their creativity in developing an “Advertisement for a Friend”. You will need to divide the participants into small groups (5-6 participants per group would work well). Groups can be selected in any number of ways. Encourage students to think about the qualities they would like a new friend to have and how those qualities would contribute to the development of a healthy relationship. Acknowledge that not everyone values the same qualities in a friend so groups may have very different ideas. Encourage individuals within a group to come to an agreement about the qualities while noting the qualities there was disagreement about. Groups can be encouraged to be creative in the development of the ad. They might simply write it and read it out to the larger group. Some groups might use a poster or act out a scenario as in a TV commercial. As the facilitator you might assign different approaches to each group to keep things interesting. Explore why some people value different qualities when appropriate in the larger group discussion. You can provide a list of qualities (attached) or at least have it available if groups have trouble coming up with ideas. Detailed Instructions  Introduce the activity to the class or group. You can read the description below (this handout can be distributed to participants for easy reference) or use your own words to describe the activity.  Note: You may want to brainstorm qualities with the whole group instead of having each individual participant complete a list. The large group might be more effective with younger groups. Participant Handout: A list of qualities of a friend will be created using large group or individual brainstorming. You will be assigned to a small group to develop an advertisement for a friend. Discuss your ideas within your small group and come to an agreement on the five most important qualities. If there is disagreement make note of this but you need agreement to include the quality in the ad. Once you have agreed on the qualities you will include, develop the ad and a creative way to present back to the larger group so that it is entertaining or interesting to your classmates. Finally think about how those qualities would contribute to the development of a healthy relationship and have someone in the group present that information to the rest of the class. Be prepared to give reasons for your decisions about the five most important qualities. You will have about 30 minutes to do all of this. Option 1: Have each participant take 2 minutes to create their list of friendship qualities. 20

Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Option 2: Have the whole group brainstorm a list of qualities, set a goal of listing 10 or 15 qualities. Option 3: If time is short you may want to hand out the attached list.  Divide participants into small groups using a method you are comfortable with. 

Have each group choose a discussion leader and a recorder/reporter. Explain that the leader’s job is to help make sure everyone participates in the discussion. The recorder/reporter takes notes of key points and reports back to the larger group. This role will be different depending on how the group decides to present their ad to the rest of the participants.



Provide the leader with the participant handout and a time frame for the discussion depending on the time you have available. Leave 15 minutes or so for the large group discussion after the small group activity.



As the groups work through the discussion you as the facilitator will circulate the room to encourage people to stay on task. Check in with each group when the allotted time is half used. Give a two minute warning to encourage groups to finish up their discussion in the allotted time.



Have the groups take turns sharing their Advertisement with the larger group. After all groups have presented their Ad ask a question to each group about how they made the decision to include those qualities. Explore how participants see these qualities as contributing to healthy relationships. Note the similarities and differences in the qualities and the ads. Note that respect for differences of opinions and ideas is part of respect and healthy relationships. Ensure that you provide some positive comment to each group. You may want to comment on the respectful work required by participants in developing the advertisement.



Thank participants for the opportunity to work with them on this matter. Encourage them to note these positive qualities in their friends and to compliment each other occasionally! If there is time you could explore ideas for building on this activity in future sessions. The participants might come up with some ideas. You might suggest creating a poster of the common qualities to post in the classroom to remind everyone of the importance of friendship. Each group could create a poster in another session. Individuals might be interested in doing some more research on the subject and presenting to the class. You might mention the internet survey about friendship which is attached. The class could do a similar survey in the school.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Ad for a Friend - List of Friendship Qualities (edit for relevant age group) Honest Kind Caring Fair Compassionate Assertive Easy going Respectful Common interests Good Listener

Pleasant or Cheerful Fun to be with Supportive Helpful Loyal Trustworthy Dependable Has good boundaries Respectable/Respectful Intelligent

Ad for a Friend - Participant Handout A list of qualities of a friend will be created using large group or individual brainstorming. You are assigned to a small group to develop an advertisement for a friend. Discuss your ideas within your small group and come to an agreement on the five most important qualities. If there is disagreement make note of this but you need agreement to include the quality in the ad. Once you have agreed on the qualities you will include, develop the ad and a creative way to present back to the larger group so that it is entertaining and interesting to your classmates. Finally think about how these qualities would contribute to the development of a healthy relationship and have someone in the group present that information to the rest of the class. Be prepared to give reasons for your decisions about the five most important qualities. You will have 30 minutes to do all of this. Ad for a Friend - Friendship Survey Some interesting statistics from an internet survey with 500 people responding to the question asking people to choose the 3 qualities they viewed as most important in a friend. Most participants were American and female. Top Qualities: Honesty 264 Trust/truthful 200 Loyalty 90 Sense of Humor 87 Caring 74 Fun 60 Love 57 Understanding 45 Good Listener 43 Kind 4 For more information, please refer to: http://www.susankramer.com/friendshipqualities.html http://www.friendshipandlovepoetry.net/survey/surresults.html#qualities 22

Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Giving Compliments & Healing Bracelets In this activity girls will have an opportunity to practise giving and receiving compliments. Tell them that when they are stressed out, paying someone a compliment or doing something nice for others can help relieve their own stress. Compliments are a way of praising someone or showing appreciation and admiration for who they are as a person or for the things they do. While it is good to give and receive all types of compliments, the ones that have the greatest impact are those that emphasize a person’s ability or good qualities. Provide the girls with examples of these types of compliments. Write each girl’s name on a separate card and place the cards in a bag or box. Ask each girl to select one card. Ensure that no one has her own name. The participants will do two things for the person whose name is on the card they have selected. First, each girl is asked to write a compliment for the person whose name is on the card she has chosen (e.g., “You are funny”). Tell the girls not to write superficial or “surface” comments (e.g., “I like your hair”), but rather ones that capture the person’s abilities or qualities. Second, using the materials provided, each participant will create a healing bracelet for the same girl. Distribute: Colour Meanings to help them choose colours for each others’ bracelets (bearing in mind that the qualities represented by a given colour may vary between cultural contexts and groups). Once this is completed, the card and the bracelet are placed in an envelope with the girl’s name on it and given to her to keep. After the activity, have a brief discussion about why it is important to be able to accept a compliment. Materials: Beads, Wire

Adapted from Girls Talk: An anti-stigma program for young women to promote understanding of and awareness about depression. Copyright © 2009 Centre for Addiction and Mental Health www.camh.net

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Colour Meanings Red: Pleasure, desire, vitality, will to win, love of sports and the survival instinct. The “warm” colours red, orange and yellow are considered stimulating colours. Orange: Creativity, confidence, intuition, friendliness and the entrepreneurial spirit. Yellow: Enthusiasm, cheerfulness, sense of humour, fun, optimism and intellectuality. Green: Perseverance, patience, growth and healing. Green is also related to work, wealth and career. Blue: Freedom, strength and new beginnings. Blue skies mean optimism and better opportunities. Blue is cooling and relaxing. Blue symbolizes water, the source of life. Agricultural people have traditionally worshipped water in the form of rivers, clouds, mist and rain. Indigo: Wisdom, self-mastery and spiritual attainment. Indigo has an inward rather than an outward orientation. Indigo connects the conscious and unconscious minds. Indigo should not be used for a person who is depressed, as it can also deepen negative moods. Violet: The psychological quality of transformation, transmutation and the balance of power and love. Additional meanings include charisma, charm, magical abilities and tolerance.

Colour Meanings Available Online at: www.livingartsoriginals.com

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Dilemma Description: To give each member of a group a chance to voice their opinion on topics related to dating.

Objective:

To choose a card and give you uninterrupted opinion on the dilemma presented.

Materials:

Dilemma Cards

Directions: 1. Divide the class into groups of 4 and give each group a set of dilemma cards. 2. Each person chooses a card and, in turn, reads it aloud. 3. Each person gets to give an uninterrupted opinion before the rest of the group may join the discussion. 4. After all of the topics have been discussed, discuss a few of the topics as a class. 5. Ask students how it felt to give an uninterrupted opinion. Ask if they get to do that often. Who do they feel interrupts them the most (parents, friends, siblings)? 6. Why is it important that people be allowed to express themselves without interruption? Why do people interrupt? What does that say to the person being interrupted? Discuss. Adapted from Just for the Health of It! Health Curriculum Activities, The Centre for Applied Research in Education. www.phdirect.com.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Dilemma Cards

Dilemma: What if your best friend had an STI and asked you not to tell anyone, but then started dating another good friend of yours?

Dilemma: What would you do if your best friend’s boyfriend of girlfriend was cheating on him or her?

Dilemma: What would you consider “the perfect date”?

Dilemma: What would you do if a best friend has just broken up with a boyfriend/girlfriend and that former steady now asked you out?

Dilemma: Dilemma: What would you do if you didn’t What would you do if you found a condom in your son’s back approve of your son’s or daughter’s boyfriend or girlfriend? pocket when washing his jeans?

Dilemma: What would you do if you found birth control pills in your daughter’s purse while cleaning her room?

Dilemma: What would you do if your date talked to someone else all night while at a party with you?

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Pressure Points: Practicing Refusal Skills Description: Learning to say no when you mean no is difficult for teenagers when pressured by peers. Objective:

To practice using refusal skills in situations dealing with sex.

Materials:

Pressure Cards

Directions: 1. Cut the Pressure Cards apart and pass them out to volunteers (Laminate the cards if desired). 2. Choose one of the volunteers and assign him or her a partner of the opposite sex. 3. In front of the class, have the person with the card attempt to pressure the partner using the “line” written on the card. 4. After each situation is acted out, discuss the “line” and ask what might be the best response. 5. Other questions for discussion”  Do you think it is more difficult for a guy to refuse a girl or vice versa? Why?  Do you think guys would refuse girls? Why or why not?  What are some reasons a young person might want to wait before having sex?

Adapted from Just for the Health of It! Health Curriculum Activities, The Centre for Applied Research in Education. www.phdirect.com.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Pressure Cards

Pressure Point This is ridiculous! We’re the only ones not having sex!

Pressure Point What’s wrong with you? Are you a prude or something?

Pressure Point Don’t you trust me? I would never do anything to hurt our relationship.

Pressure Point This will bring us so much closer. If you love me, we’ll do this.

Pressure Point We’ve been dating for so long. What are we waiting for?

Pressure Point If this is the way you really feel. I guess there’s no reason to keep dating.

Adapted from Just for the Health of It! Health Curriculum Activities, The Centre for Applied Research in Education. www.phdirect.com.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Adapted from Character Fun Gamekit (2007). www.marcoproducts.com. 29

Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Show Respect Situation Cards Show Respect Situation Cards Show Respect Situation Cards © 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

The hall teacher asks you to stop The teacher says, “please turn in running in the hall. your homework.”

Show Respect Situation Cards Show Respect Situation Cards © 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

In the lunch line, you ask for the lunch staff to give you some French Fries.

The bus driver asks you to sit down on the bus.

Show Respect Situation Cards Show Respect Situation Cards © 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

Another student makes fun of your new hair cut.

You ask for the mustard in the cafeteria.

Show Respect Situation Cards Show Respect Situation Cards © 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

A student in the lunchroom asks you to pass the salt.

A student pushes you in the lunch line.

Show Respect Situation Cards Show Respect Situation Cards © 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

There is a shown in the You need to sharpen your pencil. auditorium. What do you do when it is over? 30

Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Show Respect Situation Cards Show Respect Situation Cards © 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

A student tries to get you to fight Your mother asks you to clean up on the playground. your room.

Show Respect Situation Cards Show Respect Situation Cards © 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

Your teacher asks you to run an A friend wants you to keep talking errand. to him when the teacher is talking.

Show Respect Situation Cards Show Respect Situation Cards © 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

Your father tells you to pick up the Your principal gives you a note to trash in the yard. take to your teacher.

Show Respect Situation Cards Show Respect Situation Cards © 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

You need help from the teacher with your math.

Your teacher gives you extra homework.

© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Friendship Stoplight Game Purpose:

To explore friendships using a spotlight analogy  RED = Stop! These are bad signs of a friendship!  YELLOW = Caution! These are warning signing on a friendship!  GREEN = Go! These are good signs in a friendship!

Materials:

3 Colour Heading Posters 15 Friendship Scenario Cards

Instructions:  Divide participants into groups and share the Friendship Scenario Cards evenly among the groups.  Put the RED, YELLOW, GREEN poster headings on the wall.  Instruct the groups to read the cards and decide which colour best represents each scenario.  Have teams put them on the wall under the corresponding colour heading

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Adapted from Changes In Me: A Resource For Educators On Puberty And Adolescent Development Peel Health Department: Healthy Sexuality Program – Contact Health Line Peel @ 905-799-7700 33

Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Friendship Scenario Cards You are afraid of your friend’s temper.

Your friend criticises you or people you care about.

Your friend threatens to hurt you.

Your friend bullies and makes fun of other kids at school.

Your friend pressures you to do things you do not want to do.

You are nervous that if you tell your friend something personal, s/he will tell other people at school.

Your friend sometimes makes fun of you.

You rarely get to plan what the two of you will do together.

Your friend tells you not to hang out with certain people.

You usually feel happy when you are with this person.

You enjoy being with this person, but you also enjoy spending time with other friends. Your friend respects your feelings and your opinions.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Your friend talks to you about his/her feelings.

Your friend is happy when good things happen to you.

You say that you agree with your friend, even though you really don’t. You are afraid they won’t be your friend anymore if you disagree.

Adapted from Changes In Me: A Resource For Educators On Puberty And Adolescent DevelopmentPeel Health Department: Healthy Sexuality Program –Contact Health Line Peel @ 905-799-7700

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

SECTION 3: Activities for Youth to Adult

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships How many of the following attitudes and behaviours are present in your relationships?                           

Communication is open and spontaneous (including listening) Rules/boundaries are clear and explicit, yet allows flexibility Individuality, free and personal identify is enhanced Each enjoys doing things for self, as well as for the other Play, humour, and having fun together is common Each does not attempt to “fix” or control the other Acceptance of self and other (for real selves) Assertiveness: feelings and needs are expressed Humility: able to let go of the need to “be right” Self-confidence and security in own worth Conflict is faced directly and resolved Openness to constructive feedback Each is trustful of the other Balance of giving and receiving Negotiations are fair and democratic Tolerance: forgiveness of self and others Mistakes are accepted and learned from Willingness to take risks and be vulnerable Other meaningful relationships and interests exist Each can enjoy being alone and privacy is respected Personal growth, change and exploration is encouraged Continuity and consistency is present in the commitment Balance and oneness (closeness) and separation from each other Responsibility for own behaviours and happiness (not blaming other) ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________

Developing Healthy Relationships is an Important Life Skill!

Adapted from S.E.A.L.S. II, Wellness Reproductions & Publishing http://wellness-resources.com

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Characteristics of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship – Matching Activity Purpose:

To explore characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships.

Materials: 2 Heading Cards (Healthy Relationships/Unhealthy Relationships) 32 Characteristics of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship Cards Instructions: 

Divide participants into groups and share the Characteristics of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship cards evenly among the groups.



Put the headings Healthy Relationship and Unhealthy Relationship on the Wall.



Instruct the groups to read the cards and decide if it is a characteristic of a healthy relationship or a characteristic of an unhealthy relationship.



Have teams put each characteristic on the wall under the corresponding heading.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Healthy Relationships

Unhealthy Relationships 39

Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Uses alcohol or drugs as an excuse for hurtful behavior

Acts controlling or possessive – like you own your partner

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Goes back on promises

Tries to make the other feel crazy or plays mind games

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Makes all the decisions about what the two of you do

Tries to keep the other from having a job or furthering his/her education

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Smashes, throws or destroys things

Embarrasses or humiliates the other

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Has ever threatened to hurt the other or commit suicide if they leave

Pressures the other for sex, or makes sex hurt or feel humiliating

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Frequently criticizes the other’s friends or family

Yells at and treats the other like a child

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Puts the other down by calling names, cursing or making the other feel bad about him or herself

Gets extremely jealous or accuses the other of cheating

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Communicate about sex, if your relationship is sexual

Never feel like you’re being pressured for sex

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Have close friends and family who like the other person and are happy about your relationship

Have some privacy – your letters, diary, personal phone calls are respected as your own

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Encourage each other’s interests – like sports and extracurricular activities

Have equal decision-making power about what you do in your relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Both apologize when you’re wrong

Both accept responsibility for your actions

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Solve conflicts without putting each other down, cursing at each other or making threats

Respect each other’s opinions, even when they are different

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Support each other’s individual goals in life, like getting a job or going to college

Trust each other

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Always feel safe with each other

Each enjoy spending time separately, with your own friends, as well as with each other’s friends

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Have fun together more often than not

Has ever grabbed, pushed, hit, or physically hurt the other

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Characteristic of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship

Always treat each other with respect

Tells the other how to dress

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Unhealthy Relationships Word Search T D K E M L Z U C U U B K Z Y I Y T V

Z C W I R H S M O O A E K R R M N L P

U W K Q K N L R Y G N G V R U U K D L

O T A C G L G L D L U T I P X B E U A

     

TRAPPED USED PHYSICAL ANGRY STRESSED IRRITABLE

Q U R X W Y P H Y Y H N W U Z A T M Q F J A L A Q G A G Z B V A W T N T R L N K O L W A L T Q M P D K Z O V N O I

O D Q F R U F U E V Q Y V X U S G F B P L U U U E E S Y M F X W H O K N N E Q A Y O G E Z O U D L O N N D S T J A F E L X N I Q P E R S E D P I O A R M A I T B U Q R J U T P B T J L Z Q Z D J B E W P E O P B D O S N T O M E U W

     

CONTROLLED ABUSED EMOTIONAL FRUSTRATED EXHAUSTED SADNESS

S T R A S A D N Z O K E M L D L S W I A I O I I K G C S A F M Y U N C H T W A P K E D N F D D N N S E C J E N R K P T P E R U G M G X W U L V Q X Y J Q

    

T E W K N H E B G M T G U J I W J B K

E S V C I U X Y V D L E R D E S U B A

D S N M J U Q Y A U R T E Y E C Z A T

ISOLATED MENTAL INSECURE HURT CONFUSED

Adapted from www.mindyourmind.ca

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Friendship Circle (Youth to Adult) Have people sit in a circle. Ask each person to tell you something about kindness (e.g. what they think it is, an example of a kind act or a kind thought, something they do that is kind or something they might do in the future). The intent is to get the people to think about kindness and highlight that it is part of their everyday activities. Ask how kindness makes people feel. How do they feel when they are kind and when others are kind to them? It would be helpful to have a second person to flip chart responses.

Note: You may use the props in the kit to support this activity. See http://www.crayola.com/coloringcraft/craft/printer.cfm?id=608 for the activity that inspired this idea.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Ideas for Kindness Bookmark

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

A Circle of Respect (Youth to Adult) Sitting in a circle, introduce the concept of respect as part of healthy relationships. You might also mention the importance of respecting the environment in which we live. Recycling is an example of environmental respect…. Have each person contribute an idea about respect (e.g. what it means to them, an example of a respectful behaviour, talk about how it feels to be respected, how they show respect to friends and family, how teachers show respect to students etc). If people cannot think of ideas you may need to provide some prompts by asking questions about their behaviour and experiences. The responses can be flip charted.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Ad for a… Friend/Partner/Co-Worker/Family Member Overview This is a small group activity where groups are instructed to use their creativity in developing an “Advertisement for a…”. Choose to develop an ad for a friend, partner, co-worker or family member. You will need to divide the participants into small groups (5-6 participants per group would work well). Groups can be selected in any number of ways. Encourage people to think about the qualities they would like a new to have and how those qualities would contribute to the development of a healthy relationship. Acknowledge that not everyone values the same qualities so groups may have very different ideas. Encourage individuals within a group to come to an agreement about the qualities while noting the qualities there was disagreement about. Groups can be encouraged to be creative in the development of the ad. They might simply write it and read it out to the larger group. Some groups might use a poster or act out a scenario as in a TV commercial. As the facilitator you might assign different approaches to each group to keep things interesting. Explore why some people value different qualities when appropriate in the larger group discussion. You can provide a list of qualities (attached) or at least have it available if groups have trouble coming up with ideas. Detailed Instructions  Introduce the activity to the group. You can read the description below (this handout can be distributed to participants for easy reference) or use your own words to describe the activity.  Note: You may want to brainstorm qualities with the whole group instead of having each individual participant complete a list. The large group might be more effective with younger groups. Participant Handout: A list of qualities of a will be created using large group or individual brainstorming. You will be assigned to a small group to develop an advertisement . Discuss your ideas within your small group and come to an for a agreement on the five most important qualities. If there is disagreement make note of this but you need agreement to include the quality in the ad. Once you have agreed on the qualities you will include, develop the ad and a creative way to present back to the larger group so that it is entertaining or interesting. Finally think about how those qualities would contribute to the development of a healthy relationship and have someone in the group present that information. Be prepared to give reasons for your decisions about the five most important qualities. You will have about 30 minutes to do all of this.

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Option 1: Have each participant take 2 minutes to create their list of qualities. Option 2: Have the whole group brainstorm a list of qualities, set a goal of listing 10 or 15 qualities. Option 3: If time is short you may want to hand out the attached list.  Divide participants into small groups using a method you are comfortable with. 

Have each group choose a discussion leader and a recorder/reporter. Explain that the leader’s job is to help make sure everyone participates in the discussion. The recorder/reporter takes notes of key points and reports back to the larger group. This role will be different depending on how the group decides to present their ad to the rest of the participants.



Provide the leader with the participant handout and a time frame for the discussion depending on the time you have available. Leave 15 minutes or so for the large group discussion after the small group activity.



As the groups work through the discussion you as the facilitator will circulate the room to encourage people to stay on task. Check in with each group when the allotted time is half used. Give a two minute warning to encourage groups to finish up their discussion in the allotted time.



Have the groups take turns sharing their Advertisement with the larger group. After all groups have presented their Ad ask a question to each group about how they made the decision to include those qualities. Explore how participants see these qualities as contributing to healthy relationships. Note the similarities and differences in the qualities and the ads. Note that respect for differences of opinions and ideas is part of respect and healthy relationships. Ensure that you provide some positive comment to each group. You may want to comment on the respectful work required by participants in developing the advertisement.



Thank participants for the opportunity to work with them. Encourage them to and to compliment each other note these positive qualities in their occasionally! If there is time you could explore ideas for building on this activity in future sessions. The participants might come up with some ideas. Note: Idea found in the Health curriculum in Healthwise 1 (page 68) as an individual activity.

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Ad for a Friend/Partner/Co-Worker/ Family Member List of Qualities (edit for relevant age group) Honest Kind Caring Fair Compassionate Assertive Easy going Respectful Common interests Good Listener

Pleasant or Cheerful Fun to be with Supportive Helpful Loyal Trustworthy Dependable Has good boundaries Respectable/Respectful Intelligent

Ad for a Friend - Participant Handout A list of qualities of a friend will be created using large group or individual brainstorming. You are assigned to a small group to develop an advertisement for a friend. Discuss your ideas within your small group and come to an agreement on the five most important qualities. If there is disagreement make note of this but you need agreement to include the quality in the ad. Once you have agreed on the qualities you will include, develop the ad and a creative way to present back to the larger group so that it is entertaining and interesting to your classmates. Finally think about how these qualities would contribute to the development of a healthy relationship and have someone in the group present that information to the rest of the group. Be prepared to give reasons for your decisions about the five most important qualities. You will have 30 minutes to do all of this. For more information, please refer to: http://www.susankramer.com/friendshipqualities.html http://www.friendshipandlovepoetry.net/survey/surresults.html#qualities

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Healthy Relationships Question Set In a healthy relationship you respect each other’s opinion.

In a healthy relationship you enjoy doing things apart from each other and together.

True or False? True or False? In a healthy relationship you do not try to restrict or control each other.

In a healthy relationship it’s easy to be yourself when you’re with the other person.

True or False?

True or False?

In a healthy relationship you enjoy the time you spend together.

In a healthy relationship you can disagree and it is okay to talk about your differences.

True or False?

True or False?

In a healthy relationship there is no fear in your relationship.

Getting jealous and accusing the other person of cheating is a characteristic of a healthy relationship.

True or False?

True or False? Name calling, criticizing and putting the other person down is normal in a healthy relationship. True or False?

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Healthy Relationships Question Set Question 1: What should you consider when making decisions around sex and sexual limits? a. Your values b. Your friends c. Your family d. All of the above Question 3: Name three important qualities of a healthy relationship.

Question 5: Name a reason why you may not make healthy choices when it comes to sex.

Question 7: Name three resources you can turn to if you are worried about abuse in your relationship.

Question 2: What is the best style of communication to use when making decisions about sexual limits and boundaries? a. Assertive b. Passive c. Aggressive Question 4: Which of the following is NOT an element of a healthy relationship? a. Trust one another b. One person makes all the decisions c. Respect one another d. Open and honest communication Question 6: If you do not choose abstinence, the best protection is: a. Pulling out every time b. Using a condom and the morning after pill, just in case c. Using the hormonal method like the pill or ring, and a condom d. Using two condoms instead of just one Question 8: Name three characteristics of an unhealthy relationship.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Question 9: What skills do you need to make healthy decisions in a relationship? a. Intelligence, memory, ability to do public speaking b. Assertive communication, active listening, and negotiation skills c. Ability to persuade others, love, passive communication d. None of the above Question 11: Which of the following are signs that you may be in an abusive relationship? a. Bruises, scratches and other signs of injuries b. Avoiding friends c. Apologizing for your partner`s behaviour d. All of the above Question 13:

Question 10: Why would you choose abstinence? Give 3 reasons.

Question 12: True or False: The average age of the first violent relationship experience is around 15 years of age.

Theo is new in school and really wants to fit in. He is at a party which involves drinking and his friend is trying to hook him up. He is not sure what to do. What is a consequence of either hooking up or not hooking up?

Copyright 2011 - Alberta Health Services – teachingsexualhealth.ca

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Healthy Relationships Question Set – Answer Key 1. All of the above. Values, goals, moral and spiritual principles are all things people consider when making decision about sex. Talking to people you trust such as family and friends will help you make healthy decisions. 2. Assertive communication. When individuals are assertive they:  Stand up for their rights without denying other people theirs  Respect themselves as well as others  Know how to listen and talk  Express their emotions, both positive and negative  Know how to be self-confident without seeming arrogant 3. Possible answers:  Trust  Respect  Honesty  Loyalty  Open communication  Fun  Caring 4. One person makes all the decisions. When one person in the relationship is making all the decisions they hold the most power and may be manipulative. It is best if both of you make decisions together. 5. Possible answers:  Pressure  Alcohol or substance use  Did not think about how you can handle the situation  You are in the “moment”  Poor planning (no condom or birth control) 6. Using the hormonal method like the pill or ring, AND a condom. This is know as dual protection. Using a hormonal method provides protection from pregnancy and a condom provides protection from STI and pregnancy. 7. Possible answers:  Family  Friends  Teachers  Counsellors  Coaches  Parents

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8. Possible answers:  Jealousy  Abuse  Obsession  Manipulation  Dishonesty  Possessiveness  Lies  Fear  Some of these characteristics are easier to spot than others such as physical abuse. Listen to your instincts and talk with people you trust regarding maintaining a relationship and making wise decisions. If abuse is involved, it is time for the relationship to end. 9. Assertive communication, active listening and negotiation skills. These are all very important skills to have when making decisions about sexual activities with a partner. 10. Possible answers:  Moral/family/religious beliefs  Prevent STI and HIV  Prevent pregnancy  Waiting for marriage/long term commitment/a certain age  Have not met the right person yet 11. All of the above. Relationship abuse comes in many forms, some are easier to stop than others. The person being abused may not be able to identify the abuse but their behaviour nay show signs. Avoiding friends is a way of hiding the abuse from the people who care about you. 12. True. About 1 in 10 teens experience physical violence in a dating relationship. Teens are at risk for abuse in their relationships due to inexperience and stereotypes. Violence is NEVER OK. 13. Hook up – regret, embarrassment, risk of STI or pregnancy Do not hook up – reputation of frigid, embarrassment, but no risk of STI or pregnancy. Copyright 2011 - Alberta Health Services – teachingsexualhealth.ca

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Role Play Scenario/Discussion Cards John is a good student who has always enjoyed school. He has always maintained good working relationships with teachers and has felt able to ask for help and advise when appropriate. Recently, John has felt that his math teacher has been treating him unfairly during class by questioning his performance in a series of tests. In fact, John would go as far to say that the teacher has been making fun of him. Role-play scenarios should include a conversation between the following: John The math teacher Your group must work together to develop a conversation providing appropriate suggestions around dealing with this relationship.

Maya and Leticia consider themselves best friends. Recently, Maya has noticed that Leticia has been losing a lot of weight. She sees Leticia passing on food and has heard her claiming that she is “fat” to other friends. Maya is now very concerned for her friend but is not sure how Leticia will react if she raises the subject. Role-play scenarios should include a conversation between the following: Maya Leticia Your group must work together to develop a conversation providing appropriate suggestions around dealing with this relationship.

Joe lent Craig some money 6 weeks ago. He has not asked for the money back but knows that Craig started a new part-time job 3 weeks ago and feels he should now have the cash to repay him. Role-play scenarios can include conversations between any combination of the following: Joe Craig Your group must work together to develop a conversation providing appropriate suggestions around dealing with this relationship.

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Jordan is keen to take a year off from study to travel and work in Europe before attending college. He believes that his parents will see this as a waste of time and money and has decided to approach them with his idea. Role-play scenarios can include conversations between any combination of the following: Jordan A parent A sibling Your group must work together to develop a conversation providing appropriate suggestions around dealing with this relationship.

Amanda has known Joanne since 3rd grade. She has covered for Joanne several times, saying that they are having a sleep-over when in fact Joanne has been staying with her boyfriend. Amanda no longer wants to lie and feels used in this situation. Role-play scenarios should include a conversation between: Amanda Joanne. Your group must work together to develop a conversation providing appropriate suggestions around dealing with this relationship. Copyright 2009 – Alberta Health Services – www.teachingsexualhealth.ca

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

The Choice is Yours! Life’s Situations for Teens The guy who sits behind you in Math has been bothering you all semester. He runs his fingers down your back and across your shoulders everyday. It makes you very uncomfortable and he doesn’t respond when you ask him to stop. Your friends think it is kind of funny. What should you do?

The boy whose locker is next to yours is being picked on by a group of popular kids. The bullying is getting worse each week and the boy is now being shoved, hit and verbally abused several times a day. No one seems to be helping him. What do you do?

You have told your best friend about a girl you like. Several days later you see him flirting and laughing with her in the hall. What do you do?

You have been 25 pounds overweight for a couple of years. For the last 6 months you have been following a sensible eating plan and exercising regularly. It has been hard work, but so far you have lost 10 pounds. You overhear someone at school comment on your cute face, but big body and are devastated. What should you do?

Ashley and Nick are on a date and are having a very nice time. At the end of the date, Nick is pressuring Ashley into having sex. Ashley likes Nick but doesn’t want to have sex with him at this point in their relationship. Question – Should she have sex or not and why? You and a boy at school like each other and would like to go to the movies 58

Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

together as a date. You know that your parents won’t permit you to date yet, but you really want to be with the boy. You could ask your parents if you could go in the date, or you could tell your parents that you are gong with a group and just meet the boy at the movies, or you could stay home and tell the boy that you are not allowed to date. What do you do?

Your friend and her family are out of town on vacation. You have a key to their home and are taking care of the dog. While you are at their home, kids from the neighbourhood stop by and start playing around the house. The next thing you know it’s a party. Alcohol is being consumed and vandalism is occurring. You have lost control of the situation. What do you do?

It has always bugged you when classmates use terms like “gay” and “retarded” when describing something they don’t want to do or don’t like. You hear more kids using these terms all the time. What do you do?

Your best friend asks for answers in a test that he/she didn’t have time to study for. You are against cheating and are afraid that you will get caught and get an F on the test, however you also don’t want to lose the friendship. How should you handle this? Adapted from The Choice is Yours! Life`s Situations for Teens, J&B Products Inc (2004).

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Family Circle Description: Conflicts between parents and teenagers start for a variety of reasons. Objective:

To explore some of the reasons that conflicts arise between teenagers and their parents and to discuss strategies for resolving them.

Materials:

Family Circle Cards Paper Pens or Pencils

Directions: 1. Divide the class into eight groups and ask the group members to sit in a circle. 2. Have one group member choose s Family Circle Card, then return to his or her group. Tell the group members the topic that was chosen. 3. Tell students they have 5 minutes to write down as many examples of conflict for the given category that they can think or (ex:: for the category of appearance, students might write parents hate my long hair, parents don’t like boys wearing earrings, teens want to wear jeans with holes in them to school and parents disapprove). 4. When all groups have completed the task, have each group tell which category was chosen and give their examples. 5. Next, discuss the nature of these conflicts and ask students for ideas for resolving conflicts. Choose the best strategies and write them on the board.

Adapted from Just for the Health of It! Health Curriculum Activities, The Centre for Applied Research in Education. www.phdirect.com.

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Family Circle Cards

Conflict

Conflict

Appearance

Homework & School Work

Conflict

Conflict

Choice of Friends

Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Conflict

Conflict

Music & Interests

Rules & Curfew

Conflict

Conflict

Chores & Neatness

Cell Phone/Computer Use & Time Away from Family

Adapted from Just for the Health of It! Health Curriculum Activities, The Centre for Applied Research in Education. www.phdirect.com

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Love Is…Love Isn’t Format: Group, or one on one Objectives:  To identify characteristics of a “healthy” relationship  To recognize warning signs of an “unhealthy” relationship  To develop an understanding of the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships Materials and Preparation: Prepare a set of index cards, each containing one of the “Love Is…Love Isn’t” words listed in this activity. The words should be as large as possible, and either typed or printed clearly. If you will be doing this activity with more than one group, it is a good idea to laminate the cards for future use. Prepare two signs: “Healthy” and “Unhealthy”. Alternatively, you may use two signs with symbols indicating “thumbs up” and “thumbs down”. Before beginning this activity, post the two signs on the wall. The “Love Is…Love Isn’t” words will be posted under each of these two signs, so make sure that you leave enough space. Place strips of masking tape or two-sided tape under each sign. Also place a couple of strips of tape in between the two signs, to indicate a space for words that cause difficulties or that could belong on either side. Time: 20 to 40 minutes What To Do: Distribute the words to the participants. (It is okay if they are not able to read the cards.) it is okay if some participants receive more cards than others. One at a time, participants will hold up a card to be read aloud either by you or by a volunteer. The group will then discuss whether the word on the card is or is not a characteristic of a healthy relationship. Once the group had reached a decision, the cardholder then sticks the word under the appropriate heading (either “Healthy”, “Unhealthy”, or in between).

Adapted from Knowing Where You Stand Resource Guide. Planned Parenthood Frederiscton www.fredericton.ppfc.ca.

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Love Is… Love Isn’t

Freedom

Self

Openness

Touching

Boss

Independence

Compromise

Responsibility

Hard Work

Fear

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Pleasure

Commitment

Trust

Sharing

Communication

Threats

Violence

Friendship

Truth

Respect

Strong Feelings

Possessiveness

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Scoring

Control

Promise

Honesty

Obsession

Manipulation

Intimidation

Giving Up Yourself

Pain

Caring

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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit

Dependency

Being Selfish

Sex

Proving Yourself

Cruelty

Closeness

Jealousy

Recognizing Differences

Expecting all of your needs to be met

Adapted from Knowing Where You Stand Resource Guide. Planned Parenthood Frederiscton www.fredericton.ppfc.ca.

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Thinking About The Words Freedom – Each person within a relationship must still have a sense of freedom. People choose to get into relationships, and are free to make the choice to leave an unhealthy relationship. It is not healthy for a person to be in a relationship without freedom. It is not healthy for one partner to try to control the other. Each partner should be free to make choices about what they do, who they are friends with, where they go, what time they will be home… (At the same time, it is important to remember that “responsibility” is also an important part of relationships!) Self – A person should not lose their “self” when they enter into a relationship. Really, a relationship should be thought of as being made up of two individual persons or “selves”. Each person should maintain their self and their identity as an individual. Openness – In a healthy relationship, partners are open with each other. They feel comfortable talking, and sharing their feelings and ideas. At the same time, it is important that each person still have their privacy. Openness goes along with trust… if you do not trust someone, you will not feel safe iin being open and sharing your thoughts and feelings. Touching – Touching can be good or bad in a relationship, depending on whether both partners are comfortable with the touching. Different people are comfortable with different kinds of touching. Some people are comfortable with certain kinds of touching, but only under certain circumstances, such as in a private or a public space. If a person and their partner have shared certain kinds of touching in the past, it does not mean that either partner is obligated to participate in that kind of touching again. It is important to understand that touching is not okay unless both people are comfortable, and both people want the touching to take place. For touching to feel good and to feel safe within a relationship, it is very important for partners to communicate and to share their feelings and ideas around physical contact. Each person should decide for themselves who will be allowed to touch their bodies, as well as when, where and how other people will be allowed to touch their bodies. It is also very important for people to talk with and listen to their partner, to make sure that their partner is comfortable with touching. Some people are not comfortable talking about bodies and touching. How can you tell whether your partner is comfortable with certain kinds of touching? People can say “No” in many ways… sometimes they may shake their head, sometimes they may say things like “I’m not sure about this…” or “I don’t know if I really want to do this”, sometimes they may try to push you away, or avoid you by sitting out of reach, or maybe even start to cry. It is very important to be clear that both partners are comfortable with any touching that takes place. 67

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Boss – There should not be a “boss” in a relationship. Both partners should be equals. In a relationship, partners work together or take turns in making decisions. It is not okay to be bossy in a relationship. Independence – Each person in a relationship should maintain their independence. It is important for each partner to have friends and activities outside of their relationship. Partners should not ALWAYS have to do EVERYTHING together. Compromise – Compromising is a healthy way of reaching a decision. When two people compromise, they each give up something that they wanted, and meet each other halfway. For example, two people want to go out on a date: one person wants to go bowling, and their partner wants to go to a movie. They may decide to go to a movie one week and bowling the next, or they may decide to each do the activity they prefer on their own, and to meet for dinner later in the day. In an unhealthy relationship, one person may always get their own way, and the other person may always give up what they want. If one person always wants to go to movies, and the other always want s to go bowling, and the couple always goes bowling, how would the person who enjoys going to the movies feel? It is important for both people in a healthy relationship to work together to reach decision that make both people as happy as possible. Responsibility – Each person should take their responsibilities seriously within a relationship, and pull their own weight. Some responsibilities are shared, while others are divided between the two partners. Each person is responsible for their won actions and decision. A person should not blame their partner, or try to avoid taking responsibility when something goes wrong. Hard Work – Relationships are hard work. Often, movies and television shows will portray people falling in love and living happily ever after. As a result, some people have misconceptions about the amount of hard work involved in developing and maintaining a healthy relationship. At the same time, if a couple constantly has to work very hard to keep the relationship going, they need to decide whether it is worth the effort. Fear – Fear is not a good thing in a relationship. If you are afraid of your partner, you need to tell someone. You should not constantly fear that you will lose your partner, or that they will stop loving you. Pleasure – Pleasure is generally a good thing to have in a relationship. Pleasure can be unhealthy, however, when one partner focuses only on their own pleasure, especially if they do so at the expense of the other partner. A difficult situation can also arise if a person only focuses on their partner’s pleasure, and ignores their own needs and desires. 68

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Commitment – Commitment can be a part of a healthy relationship. Often, when people have been dating for a while, they will make the decision to date only their partner. This is good, as long as both people talk about the relationship and understand the commitment that they are making. It is not healthy if one person believes they are in a committed relationship, and the other person dates other people or breaks the commitment. Trust – Trust is a very important part of healthy relationships. Partners must know that they can trust and believe each other. Trust can be lost when one partner lies or is dishonest. It is very difficult to regain someone’s trust, once it has been lost. Sharing – There are all kinds of things that people can share in healthy relationships: feelings, ideas, food, activities, experiences… Communication – Communication is a very important part of a healthy relationship. Good communication helps partners to talk and work through their differences, and to support each other during difficult times. Partners should feel comfortable, safe and respected in talking to each other. Threats – Threats are never okay in a relationship. If your partner threatens you, you need to tell someone and to get help. Your partner may also threaten to hurt your pets, or other people that you love. Your partner may also tell you that they can not live without you and that if you leave them, they will hurt or even kill themselves. If this happens, it is very important for you to talk to someone and to get help. Violence – There should not be any violence in a relationship. If your partner hits you, slaps you, punches you, kicks you, bites you or hurts you in any way, you need to get help. It is very important for you to talk to someone, even if your partner apologizes for their behaviour. Friendship – The person that you are in a relationship with needs to be a friend. They need to be somebody that you like, and that you enjoy spending time with. If you don’t like the person you are in a relationship with, then you need to think about your reasons for being in the relationship. Truth – Truth is an important part of relationships. If a person lies, or does not tell the truth, they will lose their partner’s trust. Partners need to tell the truth, and to be able to believe each other. Respect – It is very important for partners to treat each other with respect. What does respect mean? How do you know if your partner is treating you with respect? What does respect look like? What does disrespect look like?

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Strong Feelings – Relationships often involve strong feelings. Positive feelings, such as happiness, feeling special, feeling safe, and sharing are healthy. Negative feelings, such as fear, distrust and pain are unhealthy. Possessiveness – Possessiveness is when someone treats their partner like they own them. People are not possessions. You do not own your partner. Each person is responsible for themselves, and for their own actions. No one owns another person. Scoring – In a healthy relationship, there should be no scoring. Sometimes, a person who has had sex with another person will say that they have “scored”. A person may brag that they have “scored”. This is not a respectful way to talk about another person. Scoring implies “winners” and “losers”. In a healthy relationship, partners are equals, and work together. They do not use each other to have sex or to “score”, or to gain popularity among their other friends. They respect their partner, and may choose together to engage in sexual activities. Sexual activities are private, and should not be bragged about, or used to impress other people. Control – It is unhealthy for a person to try to control their partner. Sometimes people abuse their partners, trying to control them by threatening them, blaming them for events beyond their control, intimidating them, isolating them from their family and friends, emotionally abusing them, sexually assaulting them, or through physical violence. All of these things are signs of an unhealthy or even dangerous relationship. It is not okay for a person to control their partner, or to try to have power over their partner. If a person is in a controlling or abusive relationship, they need to talk to someone and to get help. In a relationship, there may be some things that need to be controlled. For example, the partners need to control their tempers, and control their spending. Promise – Promises can be a good thing in relationships. Some couples may promise not to go out on dates with other people. If promises are broken, partners will lose trust in each other. Trust is very hard to rebuild, once it has been broken. Honesty – Honesty is very important in relationships. Sometimes, it can be difficult to be honest, such as when you have done something that you think will disappoint your partner. Still, it is very important to be hones. If you are dishonest with your partner, you will lose their trust. It is very difficult to regain someone’s trust, once it has been lost. Obsession – Obsession is not healthy in a relationship. When someone is obsessed with another person, they always want to be around them, and will follow them everywhere, and may tell them not to have other friends or activities outside of the relationship. They may worry constantly about losing their partner, 70

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and spy on them or do crazy and dangerous things to get their attention. It is good to have strong feelings about your partner, but it is not okay to be obsessed with them. Manipulation – Manipulation is unhealthy. Manipulation is when one person tries to make another person do something that they do not want to do. Sometimes, a person may try to trick their partner into doing something that makes them feel uncomfortable. Someone may try to force their partner to do something, or call them names if they refuse. It is important to use your head, and think for yourself. If someone tries to make you do something that you know is wrong, you need to talk to someone and to get help. Intimidation – Intimidation is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Your partner may try to scare you into doing something. They may yell at you, or try to control you by making you feel unsafe. This is not okay. You need to get away from the person, and talk to someone about the situation. Giving of Yourself – In a relationship, people often have to make compromises. At the same time, however, it is not good to give up yourself. Things that are important to you should remain important to you, whether or not you are in a relationship. Pain – There should not be pain in a relationship. Pain can be physical or emotional. If there is pain in a relationship, or if you are feeling hurt or sad, you need to talk to someone and to get help. Sometimes, partners help each other through painful or difficult situations, such as a death in the family. Sometimes, you may feel sad or angry about certain aspects of your relationship, like when you have a disagreement. It becomes a problem when you often or always feel sad or angry around your partner. Caring – In a healthy relationship, the two partners care for each other. Dependency – In a healthy relationship, you should be able to depend on your partner. Dependency is a more extreme form of depending on someone. It means relying on your partner for everything, all of the time. Your partner should not always have to take care of you and do everything for you. In a healthy relationship, the two people depend on each other for some things, and are able to do other things independently. Being Selfish – Being selfish is not a good thing in a relationship. People in a relationship need to think of themselves, and also of their partner. Sex – Sex can be a good thing or a bad thing in a relationship. In a healthy relationship, partners may choose to have sex, or they may choose not to have

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sex. Some very healthy relationships don’t involve sex at all. And some very healthy relationships involve sexual activities. If two people in a relationship choose to have sex, and both feel comfortable and safe, and are able to communicate about their bodies and feelings, and have talked about the potential consequences of having sex, and have informed themselves about “safer” sex and have chosen to take appropriate precautions, then sex can be healthy. Sex is unhealthy in a relationship when one partner forces, bribes, intimidates or in any way manipulates the other person to have sex with them. Any sexual activity or touching that is unwanted or that makes a person feel uncomfortable or scared in NOT OKAY. Proving Yourself – When you are in a healthy relationship, you should not always have to prove yourself. It is unhealthy, for example, for a person to keep telling their partner that they have to prove that they love them. In a healthy relationship, people tell each other how they feel, and they believe each other. Cruelty – Cruelty is never okay in a relationship. It is not okay for you to be cruel to your partner. If your partner is cruel to you, it is important that you talk to somebody, and get help. Closeness – Closeness can be physical or emotional. Physical closeness is okay, as long as both partners consent and are safe and fell comfortable. When you allow someone to be emotionally close to you, you allow yourself to be vulnerable. This is healthy in a relationship where you have already established trust with your partner. Over time, partners in a healthy relationship grow closer, and share more private aspects of their lives. Jealousy – Jealousy is a natural feeling that everyone experiences. Too much jealousy, however, can be unhealthy. Some people do not deal with jealousy in a healthy way. Sometimes in relationships, people use jealousy as an excuse for trying to control their partner. They tell their partner not to hang out with certain people, or to be home by a certain time. If you trust your partner, you should not be jealous when they talk to other people, or when they stay out late with other friends. Sometimes people blame jealousy when they get into fights. For example, a person may punch somebody for talking to their partner. This is not okay. While the feeling of jealousy may be normal and okay, people still need to be responsible for their own acetones when they feel jealous. Recognizing Differences – It is important to recognize that two people in a relationship will have their differences. One person may love to watch basketball, and the other person may find basketball totally boring. That’s okay. Two people 72

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in a relationship don’t have everything in common. Each person is different, and has different likes and dislikes. It is important to respect each others’ differences, and to allow your partner to be themselves. Expecting all of your needs to be met – Expecting your partner to meet ALL of your needs is not healthy or realistic. Your partner should help you to meet some of your needs. There are lots of other people in your life who can help you to meet your needs. It is very important to maintain friendships and activities outside of your relationship, and not rely solely on your partner to meet all of your needs.

Adapted from Knowing Where You Stand Resource Guide. Planned Parenthood Frederiscton www.fredericton.ppfc.ca.

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Myths & Facts Domestic Violence & Teen Relationship Abuse Purpose:

To dispel some common myths and understand facts about relationship abuse.

Materials:

One photocopy of worksheet per participant Pens/pencils Additional for GROUP: Four pieces of 8 ½ x 11 paper with “MYTH” printed largely on two pieces, and “FACT” printed largely on the other two pieces. Prizes or incentives for winning team

Activity (Group):

1. Introduce activity as a “Game Show” to test participants knowledge of myths and facts about teen relationship abuse and domestic violence. Facilitator can play the role of the game show host, or have a group member volunteer to play the host. 2. Split the group into two teams. 3. Tell teens that the host will make a statement about teen relationship abuse or domestic violence, and the teams will be given thirty seconds to discuss with their teammates and decide whether the statement is a myth or a fact. (Facilitators may need to review the meaning of the work myth) 4. When the host calls time after 30 seconds, a member of each team must hold up one of the signs – MYTH or FACT. A team that does not hold up its sign right away forfeits its chance to win points. If both teams get the right answer, they each get one point. If only one team gets the right answer, that team earns two points. 5. Optionally, facilitator may give teams the chance to win “bonus points” if they can say why the statement is a myth or a fact. They do not have to guess the exact statistics, but demonstrate an understanding of the general concept behind the fact, at the facilitator’s discretion. 6. After the game show is over award prizes and distribute worksheets and pens/pencils. Read over each statement and corresponding facts from the “Fact Sheet” and instruct participants to fill in the facts, in their own words, under each statement. 74

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Activity (Individual):

1. Give teen worksheet and pen/pencil. 2. Review the meaning of the word “myth”, if necessary. 3. Either instruct teen to complete the survey on his/her own or read each statement together and ask teen whether he/she thinks the statement is a myth or fact. 4. After completing the worksheet, take out the “Fact Sheet” and review the answers and corresponding facts for each statement. Instruct teen to write in the facts in the space provided as you go along.

Adapted from The Teen Relationship Workbook. Wellness Reproductions and Publishing (2001).

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Domestic Violence Cards Myth or Fact Domestic violence usually only happens in married adult couples

Myth or Fact Boyfriends and girlfriends sometimes push each other around when they get angry, but it rarely results in anyone getting seriously hurt

Myth or Fact

Myth or Fact

While females can be abusive and abuse happens in same-sex couples too, it is much more common for males to abuse their female partners.

If a mother is abused by her children’s father, the children are also likely to be abused.

Myth or Fact

Myth or Fact

Most people will end a relationship if their boyfriend or girlfriend hits them.

Myth or Fact Most men who abuse their partners grew up in violent homes.

Myth or Fact Most rapes are committed by strangers who attack women at night on the streets.

Myth or Fact Relationship abuse happens most often among blacks and Hispanics.

People abuse their partners because they can’t control their anger.

Myth or Fact If a person is really being abused, it’s easy to just leave.

Myth or Fact A pregnant woman is at an even greater risk of physical abuse

Myth or Fact People who are abused often blame themselves for their abuse.

Adapted from The Teen Relationship Workbook. Wellness Reproductions and Publishing (2001). 76

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Myth or Fact? 1. M FACT: As many as one-third of all high school and college-age young people experience violence in an intimate or dating relationship. Physical abuse is as common among high school and college-age couples as married couples. 2. M FACT: Domestic violence is the number one cause of injury to women between the ages of 15-44 in the U.S. – more than car accidents, muggings and rapes combined. Of the women murdered each year in the U.S., 30% are killed by their current or former husband or boyfriend. 3. F FACT: About 95% of known victims of relationship violence are females abused by their male partners. 4. F FACT: 50% of men who frequently abuse their wives also frequently abuse their children. A child who lives in a family where there is violence between parents is 15 times more likely to be abused. 5. M FACT: Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their intimate relationships continue to date their abuser after the onset of violence. 6. M FACT: People who abuse are usually not out of control. They do it to gain power and control over the other person. They often use a series of tactics besides violence, including threats, intimidation, psychological abuse and isolation to control their partners. 7. F FACT: men who have witnessed violence between parents are three times more likely to abuse their own wives and children than children of non-violent parents. The sons of the most violent parents are 1000 times more likely to become batterers. 8. M FACT: there are many very complicated reasons why it’s difficult for a person to leave an abusive partner. One very common reason is fear – women who leave their abusers are at a 75% greater chance of being killed by the abuser than those who stay.

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9. M FACT: About 80% of rapes and sexual assaults are committed by a partner, friend or acquaintance of the victim. 10. F FACT: Pregnant women are especially at risk for abuse. It is estimated that more than one-third of pregnant women are abused. It is common for physical abuse to begin or escalate during pregnancy. 11. M FACT: Women of all races are equally likely to be abused by a partner. 12. F FACT: Most people who are abused blame themselves for causing the violence. However, the fact is that NO ONE is ever to blame for another person’s violence – violence is always a choice, and the responsibility is 100% with the person who is violent.

Adapted from The Teen Relationship Workbook. Wellness Reproductions and Publishing (2001).

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Other Available Resources These resources are available to borrow from your local Mental Health & Addiction Services Office or Regional Mental Health Promotion Consultant. 

Healthy Relationships Poster Display (24” x 36”)



Teen Choices Display (three 24” x 36” panels)

Teen Choices What are the Important Questions? Sex When should I have sex? Am I ready? What about birth control? What about STI’s?

Drugs

Teen Choices Healthy Decision Making Involves thinking about options & what to do. It is an important skill to develop during teen years to make your life easier.

Risk Taking – Results from uninformed/impulsive choices. Teens make choices based on emotions, feelings or nothing at all. This is why healthy decision making is important.

Should I try drugs? Do I know the risks? What can happen?

What’s Your Choice? Use the Steps to Healthy Decision Making Standing Up The boy whose locker is next to yours is getting picked on by a group of kids. The bullying gets worse each week & nobody is standing up for him. What’s your choice?

Alcohol

Alcohol & Drugs You are invited to a good friends sleepover. She has never been involved with drugs that you know of, so you are surprised when she pulls out several joints & beer. She asks everybody to try. What’s your choice?

Drinking is popular, does that make it ok? Should I drink?

School How much time & effort should I put in? What type of future do I want? Should I start preparing now?

Crime Is stealing or cheating that bad? Am I ok with this?

Steps for Healthy Decision Making Be sure – What is the question to be answered? What seems like a big deal at first may not be a problem after all.

Activities What are my interests? How do I get involved?

Health How should I take care of my body? Food? Exercise?

Friends What type of friends do I want? How should I treat my friends?

Brainstorm – Options or choices that apply to your problem. Think hard because there are often many more solutions then at first glace. Pro’s and Con’s - List the pro’s & con’s for each option. What do you expect to happen based on your choice?

Relationships

Decide – Based on your info make a decision that best fits your problem.

Am I ready for dating? Am I ready for commitment?

Act – Once the decision is made, take action.

Image

Do not put it off too long.

How do I want others to see me? How do I see myself?

Evaluate & Re-evaluate – If possible, think about the choices you’ve made & make any necessary changes.

Decisions are Difficult! For help, talk to someone you trust like your parents, teacher, guidance counselor or friend.

Healthy Decision Making Helps Avoid Risk Taking!

Sex You are on a date. At the end of the night, your date is pressuring you into having sex. You really like your date but you don’t want to have sex at this point in your relationship. What’s your choice?

CHOICE

SHORT TERM EFFECTS

LONG TERM EFFECTS

Choose to drink alcohol & try drugs

Getting caught Poor grades Hangover

Criminal record Don’t graduate Addiction

Choose not to drink alcohol & try drugs

Loss of friends Being teased

No long term effects

Don’t Cross the Stupid Line It’s the line of choice we each have that separates smart risk from stupid risk.

Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 Mental Health Crisis Line 1-888-737-4668 NL Health Line 1-888-709-2929

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Coping with a Break Up (24” x 36”



The Choice is Yours! Life’s Situations for Teens Participants learn to consider, explore, and discuss various options to the difficult, reallife situations presented in this activity card set. Topics include cheating, bullies, dating and sex, parties, parental expectations, siblings, personal responsibilities, drinking, money, smoking, and drug use. Meets National Family and Consumer Science Education Standards and National Health Education Standards.

Includes 30 situation cards, idea sheet, and instructions. For 2 or more players or teams. Grades 6-12. 

Solution Ball

This ball helps pupil find solutions to tough situations in a fun way. Twenty different statements and strategies cover the ball and help players deal with a particular problem. Age 8-Adult.

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Girls Circle and Boys Council Activity Guides

These Activity Guides provide facilitators with everything they need to run a strengths-based program and create a safe space to address risky behaviors, build on protective factors, and improve relationships. The user-friendly guides contain all of the tools a group leader would need with step-by-step instructions on leading discussions and creative activities. Easily adaptable to your own unique setting. Girls Circle Activity Guides Friendship - Ages 9-14. 8-Week Program. Groundbreaking kit those shores girls up with strong interpersonal skills & knocks down the barriers to pride, confidence, & empathy. Confronts exclusion, intolerance, & feuding. Being A Girl - Ages 11-13. 8-Week Program. Introduces girls to the positive experience of a support circle addressing topics such as "Growing Up Female," "Growth and Self-Care," & "Female Role Models." Great kit for middle-school girls new to support groups. Honoring Diversity - Ages 11-18. 12-Week Program. Recognizes varied cultural, ethnic, racial backgrounds, emphasizing positive identity & alliance-building. Who I Am - Ages 14-18. 8-Week Program. Works with girls to examine identity, assertiveness skills, & goal setting through role-play, mandala-making, relationship to music, & more. Excellent program that is well received by high school girls. Relationships with Peers - Ages 14-18. 10-Week Program. Enhances girls' awareness of their relationships with themselves and others. Themes include “Accepting Different Parts of Myself,” “Giving Voice to Feelings,” “Romantic Relationships,” “Girlfights or Girlfriends,” & complimented with journaling, role-play, sculpting, & more. Wise & Well Activity Guide - 8-Weeks Girls 12-18. Addresses 21st Century challenges such as cyberbullying, social networking, binge drinking, marijuana use, the stigma of mental health and more. Expressing My Individuality - Ages 11-15. 8-Week Program. Explores topics such as celebrating individuality, getting along with others - addresses goals, conflict styles, values exploration, and taking time to relax. Mind, Body, Spirit - Ages 12-18. 12-Week Program. This excellent prevention kit addresses alcohol, tobacco, & drug decision making as well as healthy sexuality, promoting abstinence &/or reduction to high-risk behaviors by exploring the realities of risk and the power of self-care.

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Body Image - Ages 12+. 8-Week Program. Helps girls examine the cultural messages & personal beliefs that influence body image. Paths to the Future - Ages 12+. 12-Week Program. Skills building support circle for use with high-risk or court- involved girls. Examines beliefs about friendships, trust, authority figures, mother/daughter relationships, sexuality, dating violence, HIV, drug abuse, stress & goal-setting. Mother Daughter Circle - Ages 11+. 8-Week Program. In “Heart of the Matter” mothers or female caregivers & their daughters join together in combined & ageappropriate groups to promote empathy, communication skills, stress reduction, setting limits & honoring boundaries, and more. Co-Facilitation recommended. My Family, My Self, Activity Guide - 8-Weeks Girls 12-18. This essential guide gets at the critical importance of girls’ development within the context of their family relationships & offers girls the opportunity to safely & respectfully acknowledge & explore the many gifts & challenges of growing up within the family unit.

The Council Activity Guides Growing Healthy, Going Strong 10-Weeks Boys Ages 9-14. Boys will have fun identifying social-emotional messages, experiences, attitudes, and smart options for growing up male in our culture. Competition, bullying, recognizing and expressing emotions, male and female role expectations, self confidence, and teamwork are highlighted through games and team challenges. Boys develop vocabulary and skills to expect and enact fairness, healthy competition, and respect for self and others. Standing Together: A Journey into Respect 10-Weeks Boys Ages 9-14. This guide provides engaging ways to address common themes which pre-teens and early adolescents encounter, including breaking down social-cultural barriers, motives and actions around put-downs, knowing their personal rights, defining assumptions about male power, respecting others' physical boundaries, understanding and using the energy of strong emotions, and standing up for each other in community. Living a Legacy: A Rite of Passage 10-Weeks Boys Ages 13-18. Young men gain skills and knowledge to navigate growing up male in today’s society through the introduction of topics and experiential activities that address a myriad of relevant challenges - safely, powerfully, and within a spirit of “council” connection. Boys will explore: relationships, conflict resolution, education, leadership, community service, diversity, mass media messages, personal values, integrity, and future goals. Journey of the Great Warrior: Empowering Minority & Disenfranchised Youth 18-Sessions Boys Ages 13-18. Using the symbol of the Medicine Wheel of the indigenous people of the Americas and the metaphor of the journey of a great warrior, this guide takes young men further into a holistic process of growth and transformation that includes four areas of human development: emotional/spiritual, psychological, social, and intellectual.

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References/Sources Some of the activities included in this Resource Kit were adapted from the Healthy Relationships Resource Kit Eastern Health, Health Promotion Division (2010). The following websites and sources were used to compile activities for this Resource Kit.: 

The Choice is Yours! Life`s Situations for Teens, J&B Products Inc (2004).



Healthy Relationships Question Set. Alberta Health Services (2011). Role Play Scenario Cards. Alberta Health Services (2011). www.teachingsexualhealth.ca



Self-Esteem and Life Skills Too! (S.E.A.L.S. II), Wellness Reproductions & Publishing (1996). http://wellness-resources.com



Character Fun Gamekit (2007). www.marcoproducts.com.



Just for the Health of It! Health Curriculum Activities,The Centre for Applied Research in Education.www.phdirect.com



Robertson, A. and Lesley Mang. (1990) Healthwise 1. Nelson Canada. Scarborough.



Changes In Me: A Resource For Educators On Puberty And Adolescent Development Peel Health Department: Healthy Sexuality Program –Contact Health Line Peel @ 905-799-7700.



Girls Talk: An anti-stigma program for young women to promote understanding of and awareness about depression (2009). Centre for Addiction and Mental Health www.camh.net.



Knowing Where You Stand Resource Guide. Planned Parenthood Frederiscton www.fredericton.ppfc.ca.



The Teen Relationship Workbook. Wellness Reproductions and Publishing (2001). http://wellness-resources.com



Other Websites o www.crayola.com o www.randomactsofkindness.org o www.dltk-cards.com o www.businessballs.com/fantasticat.htm o www.susankramer.com/friendshipqualities.html o www.mindyourmind.ca o www.kidshealth.org 83

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