SUPERSONIC SOLAR SYSTEM SUPER STARS

SUPERSONIC SOLAR SYSTEM SUPER STARS

SUPERSONIC SOLAR SYSTEM SUPER STARS AUDITION DIALOGUE 1 (PERSON A enters the scene, trips and splatters spectacularly.) B Are you all right? A No...

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SUPERSONIC SOLAR SYSTEM SUPER STARS AUDITION DIALOGUE 1

(PERSON A enters the scene, trips and splatters spectacularly.) B

Are you all right?

A

No. I’m all wrong.

B

(helping PERSON A stand) You are the unluckiest person I know.

A

Tell me about it. So how have you been doing? I thought you’d be in America by now, being a big star or something.

B

(embarrassed) Well… things haven’t been going perfectly to plan… I just missed out on an audition because some (shouting off-stage) MEAN, NASTY OLD, OLD MAN (back to PERSON A) thinks it’s important to be on time or something.

A

Well, better luck next time. I’ll see you around.

SUPERSONIC SOLAR SYSTEM SUPER STARS AUDITION DIALOGUE 2 C

You’re the co-pilot?

D

That is correct.

C

(looking at notes) I haven’t got your name on my documentation. Have you flown the AirRipper class before?

D

Many times. I have a 99.5% success rate.

C

I’ll need to walk you through the diagnostics of…

D

I am a DX model android. I am already aware of the diagnostics.

C

A DX model flying an Air-Ripper? Why, that hasn’t happened since the great chocolate cookie revolt on Titan, back in 2840.

D

I shall inspect the ship and run diagnostic tests to ensure our safe travel.

SUPERSONIC SOLAR SYSTEM SUPER STARS AUDITION DIALOGUE 3 E

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to “This Is Your Life!” Today’s guest is Granny!

F

Hello everybody, remember me? I knitted this jumper with the bunny-rabbits on it.

E

Welcome to the show, Granny! What can you tell us about your life seven years ago?

F

Well, I went to the pokies at Crown with my good friend Mavis. But then I lost my false teeth and had to crawl around on my hands and knees to find them.

E

Fantastic! I think there’s someone who would like to talk to you…

(E hands F a telephone.) F

HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME? I’M SPEAKING TO YOU ON THE FELLY-TONE! (handing it back) There’s no one there.

E

Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for deaf old Granny!