SUPERSONIC SOLAR SYSTEM SUPER STARS AUDITION DIALOGUE 1
(PERSON A enters the scene, trips and splatters spectacularly.) B
Are you all right?
No. I’m all wrong.
(helping PERSON A stand) You are the unluckiest person I know.
Tell me about it. So how have you been doing? I thought you’d be in America by now, being a big star or something.
(embarrassed) Well… things haven’t been going perfectly to plan… I just missed out on an audition because some (shouting off-stage) MEAN, NASTY OLD, OLD MAN (back to PERSON A) thinks it’s important to be on time or something.
Well, better luck next time. I’ll see you around.
SUPERSONIC SOLAR SYSTEM SUPER STARS AUDITION DIALOGUE 2 C
You’re the co-pilot?
That is correct.
(looking at notes) I haven’t got your name on my documentation. Have you flown the AirRipper class before?
Many times. I have a 99.5% success rate.
I’ll need to walk you through the diagnostics of…
I am a DX model android. I am already aware of the diagnostics.
A DX model flying an Air-Ripper? Why, that hasn’t happened since the great chocolate cookie revolt on Titan, back in 2840.
I shall inspect the ship and run diagnostic tests to ensure our safe travel.
SUPERSONIC SOLAR SYSTEM SUPER STARS AUDITION DIALOGUE 3 E
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to “This Is Your Life!” Today’s guest is Granny!
Hello everybody, remember me? I knitted this jumper with the bunny-rabbits on it.
Welcome to the show, Granny! What can you tell us about your life seven years ago?
Well, I went to the pokies at Crown with my good friend Mavis. But then I lost my false teeth and had to crawl around on my hands and knees to find them.
Fantastic! I think there’s someone who would like to talk to you…
(E hands F a telephone.) F
HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME? I’M SPEAKING TO YOU ON THE FELLY-TONE! (handing it back) There’s no one there.
Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for deaf old Granny!